Made it to Atheist

It has been a long road from being a sorrowful, scared grade schooler praying that a little girl he thought was cute would not go to hell because her family was Mormon, to a fearful father who was scared that his kids might go to hell if he screws up, to someone woken up by the Christian Right with their overwhelming support for the most craven human being who has ever been President of the United States. Overcoming such an early, terrifying indoctrination has not been easy.

Since being called ‘an agent of Satan,’ being accused ‘supporting the enemy,’ being told that I was ‘never one of us,’ that I’d just been hurt and ‘needed to get my life back on track,’ I’ve been buried in the scholarship concerning the ‘truth’ of Christianity. My conclusion is that not only is Christianity not true, but that it is not a positive social good that leads to better behavior. Christians who are honest, generous, and kind are so despite what the faith teaches. MAGA Christianity is anti-Christ yet it has a firm hold on the whole institution. Their talk of ‘truth’ is bullshit.

It is disturbing to watch Christians do the same old song and dance about how ‘God is moving,’ pretending that the whole racist, misogynist, anti-human shooting match has not descended into self-serving political depravity. The whole thing is about power, maintaining hierarchy, and defending the mountains of grift. The whole act about ‘God is telling me to tell you this or that’ is about submission and control. God, through his prophets, is telling the faithful to embrace as their only hope, their savior, a deranged, cruel, felonious, grifting con man and pathological liar. This is depraved. Christians who pretend that nothing is wrong are just as depraved because what they passively support is going to rain a whole lot of suffering on those who are not them. They are effectively saying, ‘(T)hose in Trump’s crosshairs are not our neighbors, fuck ‘em!’

The moment is here to stand against the death of democracy. The evil, supremely selfish, cruel man Christians support promises to turn the military against his enemies. That is just the start of it. The Christian fascists at the Heritage foundation will cover for and flatter their stooge to get what they want, a Christian Theocracy. Trump is just a useful, depraved idiot. The fact that Trump could win is truly astounding. Our hatred, cruelty, racism, and misogyny, our shame, our self-hatred, our subservience to grifters, our tolerance of lies, adds to the fact that our support of such a man signals a profound deficit in this nation’s collective mental health, moral conviction, and care for our fellow human beings. We could elect our very worst because we’ve been profoundly traumatized to do so as we’ve been taught that it is (supposedly) God’s Will.  I understand why white men would support a total asshole like Trump, but it makes me very sad to understand that millions of women have been so beat down by religious and cultural bullshit to support a predator. He is anything but a ‘protector.’ He is a rapist who hates women.

I get looks of hatred when I wear my Harris/Walz t-shirt. I’m controlled by demons as Christianity’s leaders say. Harris has a ‘Jezebel Spirit.’  This is today’s cruel spirit of Christianity. The arguments supporting these claims are pathetic as they only work if you accept that these charlatans indeed speak for the almighty. It’s a power play which sows division as we ‘otherize’ those who do not adhere to the charismatic, NAR (New Apostolic Reformation) inspired ‘Gospel.’ When your hero calls the ‘others,’ ‘vermin’ who are ‘poisoning the blood’ of our nation as ‘they’ carry ‘murder genes,’ as your savior has done, it makes violence all the easier to carry out violence against the ‘enemies of Christ’ (as the ‘doctrines of discovery’ emphasized.) This is literal Nazi talk which most evangelicals actively or passively support. As your chosen has said, it is going to be ‘bloody.’ Indeed.

Christian faith has deeply traumatized and taken so much from me. The politically dominant Christian Right is about to fuck this nation over big time as we are on the precipice of fascism (with a hearty embracing of threats and violence to accomplish their goals.) Remember the principle of reaping and sowing? If you sow hatred, cruelty, division and threats, what will we reap? Hatred, cruelty, division, and violence. Christians, you’ve lost your fucking minds, and your hearts have darkened to embrace evil as your ‘salvation.’ If you do this, all the blood and suffering which will fall upon the ‘least of us,’ and ‘those who are not you,’ is on your heads.

It is so nice to no longer believe in heaven or hell. No one can hold that over my head anymore to control me. I’m free to call evil, evil and good, good. Men who claim to speak for God are full of shit.

Even though politically Christians are threatening to rain down a firestorm of fascist shit upon us all, I currently am breathing the free air. For mercy’s sake, I hope we do not elect that evil lying motherfucker so we can finally move forward away from a system of guilt, shame, and fear into a world where we all truly look out for each other.

Amen

Commentary on a manipulative sermon concerning guarding oneself against manipulation.

Prologue: Some Context

Part 1—Relevant Sections of the Nazarene Manual—ie. The Doctrines and Rules

Human Sexuality and Marriage – MANUAL 2017–2021 (nazarene.org) All sexual activity ought to be confined to the ‘covenantal union’ between one man and one woman. The call to ‘sexual purity is costly.’ The rest of verbiage allows for the practice of ‘conversion therapy’ although that is not specifically stated. Any ‘inappropriate sexual bonding… potentially harms our ability to enter into the beauty and holiness of Christian marriage with our whole selves.’ Purity Culture is thus approved. Youth group here come the chewed gum and spittle cup analogies…

Sanctity of Human Life – MANUAL 2017–2021 (nazarene.org) ‘We oppose all laws that allow abortion.’ Then they go on to say that abortion is forbidden except if it can be determined whether the mother or the developing child (or both) will not survive the pregnancy. And only then after both medical advice and Christian counseling. This opposes the ‘all laws’ part but who is keeping track?

The Christian Life – MANUAL 2017–2021 (nazarene.org) 28.2 ‘The historic ethical standards of the church are expressed in part in the following items. They should be followed carefully and conscientiously as guides and helps to holy living. Those who violate the conscience of the church do so at their own peril and to the hurt of the witness of the church. Culturally conditioned adaptations shall be referred to and approved by the Board of General Superintendents.’ In other words, church leadership claims the right to determine what right way is for you to live your life. Skipping to what should be avoided includes…

29:1 Any media that isn’t specifically ‘Christian’ to be on the safe side. Avoiding anything which promotes the ‘philosophy of secularism’ is specifically mentioned. That could be just about anything. But again, a lot of things claim to be Christian, like Christian Nationalism for instance, are not. It’s all in packaging I suppose. ‘…whatever weakens your reason’ is the teaching of evangelicalism itself. But that’s just a newly minted secular talking.

29:2 Gambling. But I’ve never been tempted by that. They don’t turn on the lights by giving away money.

29:3 No joining ‘quasi-religious’ organizations of any kind. Defining this is unclear so your leadership gets to decide this as well.

29:4 ‘All forms of dancing that detract from spiritual growth and break down proper moral inhibitions and reserve.’ They are serious about this one. Better not wriggle in any way to be on the safe side.

29:5 No alcohol or tobacco. Lots of Nazarenes drink, trust me. This newly minted secular is enjoying a beer right now without the burden of believing I’m violating the temple of the Holy Spirit.

29:6 No damn drugs! Retirement is wonderful and marijuana is legal! Not worried about this anymore either.

A few things about how the church is defined, its authority, and the penalties for crossing it.

17. ‘The Church of God is composed of all spiritually regenerate persons, whose names are written in heaven.’ This apparently, at first glance, includes all the various denominations who sometime strongly disagree with each other on matters of practice and belief and all those again who claim to know Jesus and that God speaks to them as well despite the contradictory (and just flat out false) proclamations. These strong disagreements naturally lead to questioning the status of your opponent’s state of ‘spiritual regeneration’ and whether God speaks to them or not. Just the way it is.

20.2 ‘The Old and New Testament Scriptures, given by plenary inspiration, contain all truth necessary to faith and Christian living.’ Except many of the beliefs and practices in the church claimed to be ‘biblical,’ but are not, are later imports from such scary ideas encompassed in the ‘philosophy of secularism’ if one should listen to Bible scholars on the matter. I believe the Bible most certainly promotes the patriarchy and has been rigorously employed in the past to promote all sort of horrid things like violence, racism, and slavery. Since the Bible does not speak with one voice (I spent decades trying to figure out how it could) we can make the Bible say anything we want it to say. All Christians pick out what they like and forget the rest. Just the way it is. (It was hard to walk away from all my ‘sunk cost.’)

20:3 ‘Human beings are born with a fallen nature, and are, therefore, inclined to evil, and that continually.’ This teaching leads to wonderful little sermons which proclaim, ‘Without Christ, our hearts are desperately wicked.’ The conclusion is that the only way to be good is to be ‘spiritually regenerate.’ Therefore, those who are not spiritually regenerate must speak out of a depraved mind and so are not worthy of being heard as an equal. This belief led to the white savior complex in which the ‘spiritually regenerate’ assume authority over everyone else for their own good. Yesterday this was called colonialism, today the idea continues as it is now called Christian Nationalism in its various forms. All of us evil folk point back at your institutions, the corruption, embezzlement, abuse of power, theft, lies, violence, conspiracies, racism, and cover-ups in which you all will do nothing to police those abuses but rather to continue in your denials and condescending paternalisms to merely continue the abuse. Moreso, you all are actively making laws to forbid those who are not you, the righteous, from talking about things you, our benevolent fathers, do not like. I’m getting ahead of myself here but fuck you.

20:4 ‘The finally impenitent are hopelessly and eternally lost.’

16:2. ‘… the finally impenitent shall suffer eternally in hell.’ There is no sugar coating this, most of the people who have ever lived or ever will live, according to common Christian belief, are going to suffer in fire for eternity. There are disagreements about predestination, but this is, by far, the majority belief even though most of the modern ideas about Hell come from Dante and Milton. The rest of them spring out of a horrifying book known to Christians as Revelation. Jesus is coming and he is pissed! This is the love of the Christian God.

21  ‘…they shall show evidence of salvation from their sins by a godly walk and vital piety.’ Followed by a lot of rules (many of them good ones.) The point is, one must show evidence according to the dictates of the church body because ‘Those who violate the conscience of the church do so at their own peril.’ 28:2. Cross the church, you never know… refer to the Lake of Fire.

7. ‘[But we also believe that the grace of God through Jesus Christ is freely bestowed upon all people, enabling all who will to turn from sin to righteousness, believe on Jesus Christ for pardon and cleansing from sin, and follow good works pleasing and acceptable in His sight.]
[We believe that all persons, though in the possession of the experience of regeneration and entire sanctification, may fall from grace and apostatize and, unless they repent of their sins, be hopelessly and eternally lost.]’

Two points here: First, salvation is both a matter of proper belief and practice. Second, you can be cast into eternal fire even if one has attained the nebulous rank of being ‘entirely sanctified.’ (Some put it that in that state one doesn’t sin, people so sanctified just occasionally make mistakes. The doctrine never made sense to me.) Don’t believe and do the right things, you’re eternally cast into indescribable agony. This widespread belief gives the church a lot of power to control people by promoting anxiety about their eternal condition. (While at the same time claiming they are relieving that anxiety. In any case, don’t think too deeply about it. Just believe and obey.) Promises of bigger houses and crowns in Heaven work to get people to give, work, and obey as well. (Apparently, there is a class system in heaven.)

With some context given, I now can move on to the second part of the introduction preceding the more specific commentary on Pastor Matt’s June 4, 2023 sermon on manipulation and manipulators.

Bad Blood – Manipulative People: Mark 16:21-23 (Pastor Matt Bissonnette) – YouTube

In a stunning display of a lack of self-awareness, self-reflection, or even a tinge of irony, Bissonette’s Bad Blood sermon series delves into the realm of manipulation and how to deal with manipulative people. Having himself defined manipulation as coming from those who weaponize guilt, obligation, and threats, he seemed blissfully unaware that evangelical Christianity is built upon those very things. If one should not submit to the authority of the church, however contradictory, seemingly corrupt and/or immoral the doctrines and practices in the church appear to be, the threat of eternal hellfire always remains no matter how much they try to deny it. Believers must, for their own peace of mind, must adhere to some set of ‘proper’ beliefs and behaviors to demonstrate evidence of regeneration and entire sanctification as both the leadership and Christian culture at large defines. Uncertainty and anxiety abound.

Another general observation of just how disconnected the sermon was, to put this in context, ‘Secrets of Hillsong’ was released on Hulu in the past few weeks. For those who have been following the Hillsong cesspool saga, the 4-part series featured, and was very sympathetic to, Carl Lentz. For those in the know, Carl Lentz did horrible, manipulative, abusive things to the people who worked for him; the issue went far beyond him getting it on with other women other than his wife. Yet, if all you saw was poor Carl who was given the spotlight in the documentary, you’d feel sorry for him. You might be tempted to think he deserves to be reinstated because he kept his marriage together. Indeed, he has been hired as an ‘advisor’ by another church. You’d think the fact that there are people who worked for Carl who will never step foot in a church again because of what was done to them, that wouldn’t look good on Carl’s resume. But no, churches want that charisma no matter who Carl has hurt. Of course, churches are going to hire him (as well as many other ‘fallen’ abusive pastors) because he brings the masses in to meet Jesus (and rake in the dough.) The journalists at Vanity Fair admitted they didn’t understand what they were dealing with—a master manipulator. Yet Matt, in his sermon, did not mention this huge, very current, and glaringly relevant example. No. He put out this example, one spouse says to the other, ‘If you don’t start paying attention to me, I’m going to get attention elsewhere.’ Really Matt? Ever think how that little example could get weaponized?

There is some truth to the adage that ‘Ignorance is bliss.’ This is why the Bible should be read ‘devotionally’ to not raise too many questions. This is why sermons tend to be shallow and/or misleading. To keep this simple, regarding the eternal threat, the importance of proper belief is paramount in evangelicalism. Stray too far ‘at your own peril.’ There are passages in the Bible which can be used to show Christians are not safe from punishment if they do not hold the correct beliefs. For example, in that wonderful little book of Revelation, Jesus says to ‘Jezebel,’ a Christian leader, that because she teaches people to practice sexual immorality (which is Ill defined, non-specific, and the original Greek is terrible, so this could mean anything—like non-procreative sex between married couples for all we know) and eating meat sacrificed to idols (which Paul said was not that big a deal as he waffled back and forth on that issue,) Jesus was going to throw her onto a bed, men were going to have sex with her (Rape? Again, we don’t know because the language is poor and non-specific,) and then Jesus was going to kill her babies as a punishment for the men. This means you better get your doctrines straight or the Almighty is going to do terrible things to you.

In the modern context, now that sexual orientation is a more defined concept, those liberal Christians who are ‘affirming’ of LGBTQ people may be that ‘Jezebel’ that Jesus is going to punish. Sexual immorality could include just about anything other than a husband with his wife, penis in vagina, for the purpose of making babies. The Bible is anything but clear on what kind of sex is okay. Onan wasted his seed? How do you interpret that? The notions of ‘Biblical Marriage’ are modern appropriations. The words ‘husband and ‘wife’ did not appear in the original languages; those words are used in modern translation to meet our modern sensibilities.

In the good, ole ‘Bible Days,’ marriage was a man having sex with a woman to claim her (and her slaves if she had them. The man may have to negotiate a deal with the father. Or they could be taken as loot in war. Men could have sex with all kinds of women without God getting mad about it at all. Adultery was a property crime. Think about that. That is patriarchy for you. That is ‘biblical marriage.’

Modern ideas about marriage are just that, modern. ‘Purity Culture,’ an oppressive evangelical invention has done incalculable damage to people’s sex lives by filling them with guilt and shame about normal drives and desires. It commodifies future brides by supposing virginity is a gift to their future husbands. We’ve told our young people that the fate of the nation depends on their sexual purity. We pile on the guilt and expectations to suppress, suppress, suppress, to then suppose everything will be magical once the fathers and the preacher have said it’s okay for two people to have sex. News flash: it doesn’t work that way. In reality, such guilt, shame, and repression can cripple married sex lives. Even lust, a thought crime, is seen as a sin grave as adultery. As the hormones rage, how many times can one masturbate before being in danger of the fires of hell? This kind of teaching is very manipulative as it uses guilt and shame concerning very human feelings as a means a control. Purity Culture is not about helping people, it is about human control over other humans.

(‘Rapture Anxiety’ is such a serious and common phenomenon. This is one reason why people commonly say the ‘sinner’s prayer’ time, and time again because they don’t want to be caught at a time with unconfessed sin. How many people have rubbed one out to then find people in their life unexpectedly missing to then think they had ‘missed the cut’ and so will have to face the horrors of the Great Tribulation. A lot. Welcome to the ‘Blessed Assurance.’)

Continuing with doctrines which in modern evangelical thought can be threatening to one’s eternal fate if one does not get it right, there is abortion. The Bible itself has nothing to say on the matter specifically. There are passages which may shed some insight as to the value of the fetus. One describes a situation in two men are fighting with each other and a woman gets injured as a result. If she is pregnant, and she loses the baby as a result, the offender must pay a fine to the husband. It is apparently a crime against property. If the woman dies as a result, then the offender is guilty of murder. Life for life. Forward to modern Jewish thought, the fetus itself is not regarded as an individual life separate from until the baby’s head emerges from the birth canal. Furthermore, the appropriation of scripture to suit your own purposes is offensive. As Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg puts it, “Most of the proof texts that they’re bringing in for this are ridiculous. They’re using my sacred text to justify taking away my rights in a way that is just so calculated and craven.”

Abortion laws: Jewish faith teaches life does not start at conception (usatoday.com)

Another possibly relevant passage involves a (screwed up) ceremony which can be done if a woman is suspected of being unfaithful to her man. (How’d that go? ‘The Bible is complete and sufficient for living the Christian life.’ Or something like that.) As a part of the ceremony, the priest administers ‘bitter water’ to the woman. We are told that if she has been unfaithful the baby inside her will die. All this springs out of a man’s world and the offense to his (perceived) dignity and property. The fetus is not treated as an individual human life with rights. The New Testament does not mention the matter. (Although Jesus kills babies to punish the Jezebel. See Revelation 2:20-23.)

The point here is not to argue the ethics of sex and abortion but to show there is serious division amongst Christians themselves on these issues. Amid the chaos as we’re calling each other apostates and Jezebels, the big boys are running a con which involves driving wedges to exploit the gaps. The Godfather of the Christian Right and Christian powerhouse Pat Robertson said, “’You’re supposed to be nice to Episcopalians, Presbyterians and Methodists … Nonsense. I don’t have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist.”

Pat Robertson Is Dead but His Dystopian Legacy Lives On – Rolling Stone

Charlatan, grifter, liar, prolific false prophet, and generally hateful to anyone not his brand of Christian, Pat Robertson is now in heaven strumming his harp, eating grapes, and having a good time. Pat, despite all the horrible things he said and did throughout his life, had the money and power to spread his lies and bullshit far and wide so that every good Christian should regard Pat as a holy man. People fear the name of Jesus when it is invoked by these con-artists and revere confidently delivered bullshit. The ‘name of Jesus’ trumps and covers over the obvious lies. That is how ‘Christian’ religious manipulation works. The sheep are star-struck by the appearance of success and power believing, thanks to the spread of the prosperity gospel, that God must be behind that success. They join up to ‘build the kingdom,’ send lots of money, and the power of the con amplifies to the point where they can take over the government to make people do what holy men say we all ought to do. Grifters like Donald Trump get in on the mass action to murder the possibility of truth in order to cash in and grab even more power. Does Matt talk about any of this? Nope. He talks about domestic things like ‘the silent treatment.’ That’s the threat…

The threat, Matt (getting personal now,) lies within an authoritarian, hierarchical religious structure which actively seeks to destroy discernment. You do this by teaching your folks that ‘God’ will tell them what to do as to the specifics of whatever situations they may face. I’ve always hated that teaching even before I apostatized. I hate it ever more because it imprisons your folks to only seek answers within their own acceptable circles because everyone who is not perceived as them and theirs are evil. ‘Without Christ our hearts are desperately wicked.’  It seems then that ‘God’ doesn’t speak to those people who do not hold the proper beliefs—even among the people who identify as Christians. You teach this. That was the gist of your sermon on dealing with criticism. ‘The loudest boos come from the cheapest seats.’ (Again, fuck you.) You told your people that when they hear something critical, they should chew on it and the Holy Spirit will tell them to spit it out. This lazy, selfish, stupid advice allows these name-of-Jesus invoking predators the safety to feed because the determination of truth is based on feelings. You teach people that their seemingly infinitely complex, malleable, and contradictory feelings are the voice of God. Cherry pick some scriptures to back what you’re feeling and voila! God has spoken.

Although those feelings are generated through innumerable factors, the central human need to experience acceptance by our own group guides and molds our feelings and behaviors to meet the ‘acceptable’ expectations of the group; we are social animals. As such, as now amplified by various mass and social media, safety is found through remaining loyal to the group within ever-tightening circles driven by peer-pressure; we are tribal. Within those tribes, charismatic and assertive folks exert influence on others and those not so strong willed acquiesce to the leadership to satisfy the need to belong and feel safe.  

Within the Christian context, the sheep are told, ‘you are chosen,’ ‘you are loved,’ ‘you are forgiven,’ ‘they are wicked,’ ‘they are out to get you,’ ‘God is punishing this nation because of our toleration of their sin,’ ‘The mainstream media lies,’ ‘The fate of our nation lies with the sexual purity of our youth,’ ‘Trump is God’s chosen wrecking ball,’ ‘God wants you to be prosperous,’ ‘God wants your total obedience,’ ‘Everything happens for a reason,’ ‘Jesus is coming soon,’ ‘The rapture is going to happen (pick a year,)’ ‘Let go and let God,’ ‘God is cleaning you up from the inside out,’ ‘God told me Trump is going to win a second term,’ ‘The election was stolen,’ ‘America was founded as a Christian nation,’ ‘No one who is born of God sins (1 John 5:18,)’ ‘Christianity is united in Christ,’ ‘Non-Christians are termites,’ ‘God cannot lie,’  ‘feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.’

Pat Robertson Is Dead but His Dystopian Legacy Lives On – Rolling Stone

‘Love your enemies,’ ‘Love the sinner, hate the sin,’ ‘God is a capitalist,’ ‘God’s love is unconditional,’ ‘God is going send everyone who doesn’t believe in Jesus to Hell,’ ‘Rob Bell is heretic,’ ‘Judge not lest ye be judged,’ ‘By God’s grace there will be a pile of bodies who had been run over by the (Mars Hill) bus (Mark Driscoll,)’ ‘Drag queens are groomers,’ ‘Just do God’s will and…,’ the list could go and on to demonstrate the cacophony of teachings bombarding Christians every day.

The beliefs lists are not fringe, they are very common and many of them are obviously contradictory (and/or absurd and harmful.) Amid all this competition for attention as absorbed by an individual with their own personal history who just wants to belong and feel safe the ‘voice of God’ emerges. That voice could be kind and affirming if that person had not been severely abused in the past. That voice could be stern and condemning if that person had been beaten down in the past. That voice could be critical (or ‘helpful’) as the confident, righteous Christian informs others, ‘God told me to tell you X.’ Those voices could be endlessly variable in tone and content among those who believe God talks to them. Indeed, charismatic Christianity implies that if you don’t hear God’s voice (and/or have some experience like speaking in tongues) then something is spiritually wrong with you. (This is highly manipulative.) Most people, if they’re honest, will tell you they have no idea what you’re talking about when you say God talks to us because that voice is absent. God never talked to me, and I was committed. I spent decades trying to find out what was wrong with me. Now I can be dismissed as one who never had enough faith.

The man in the pulpit says, ‘God will tell you if the criticism is valid or not.’ How are you feeling that day? Get enough sleep? Feeling righteous? Feeling ornery? Feeling vulnerable? Feeling confident? Feeling ashamed? Included in Matt’s advice for evaluating criticism was a suggestion that only one’s peers, that is, Spirit-led people, are the only ones worth listening to. People inherently know that there are ambiguities and contradictions all around the competing voices of God, but they are communally shamed away from doubting as not having enough faith as this threatens the group and their assurance that they got it right. The desire for belonging tends to drive the doubter back to the safety of the group’s beliefs. That is what God must be saying. The ‘faith’ then becomes a matter of collective belief within that faith community which pressures individuals to comply. Personal assurance that it is all going to work out (both here and eternally) amid the uncertainty which fuels anxiety is to be found within the acceptance of their tribal group. This gives the leaders of the group a whole lot of power over their own lot while further fracturing the larger society. Given that religion relies upon all kinds of unfalsifiable and/or unprovable beliefs, more scientific, evidence-based arguments are crippled when it comes to arbitrating disputes concerning fact. This thus leaves the determination of religious ‘fact’ to charisma and/or force of personality—and this is a good part of what happened to deliver the faithful to the most skillful manipulators.

Social scientists are all over this Christian Nationalism thing now. Not only what is taught in evangelical circles but how it is taught which has led to embracing widespread conspiratorial thinking.

Christian nationalism and biblical literalism independently predict conspiracy thinking, study finds (psypost.org)

Teaching people that ‘God’ will tell them what is right and wrong allows the culture as directed by the Christian media empire to mold what the ‘voice of God’ says. How the people feel guides what they will think and do. The conspiracy business is big business. When you teach people that they are superior to others, demonization of the ‘other’ follows. The scapegoating mechanism allows the inside manipulators to point to some outside cause of their people’s perceived problems. It works. The wolves feed. I have cited abuse after abuse, scandal after scandal, cover-up after cover-up, and set the plethora of examples gleaned from sources previously listed in other posts regarding the abuse of power by ‘Christians’ as evidence for my case. As the evidence shows, even with Christ, Christians can be desperately wicked as well.

When outsiders like me, or even credentialed social scientists, point out the evidence of widespread corruption in the evangelical world, we are dismissed as not having the spirit of God. These are some commonly appropriated scriptures to promote Christian Supremacy…

We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error. 1 John 4: 6

you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth. 1 Timothy 3:15

The coming of the lawless one is by the activity of Satan with all power and false signs and wonders, and with all wicked deception for those who are perishing, because they refused to love the truth and so be saved. Therefore God sends them a strong delusion, so that they may believe what is false, in order that all may be condemned who did not believe the truth but had pleasure in unrighteousness2 Thessalonians 2: 9-12

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. Romans 1: 18

I cannot look into the hearts of the average Christian as to their intent, but I can evaluate the results of what they do and say. I suppose they mean well when they write up rules encouraging the faithful to shun secular media—that is, anything that may promote the philosophy of secularism. There are boogey men everywhere. Pat Robertson created CBN so that millions of the faithful could have ‘Christian’ TV beamed into their homes for many hours every day, so they can get nothing but the ‘Christian’ perspective of what is going on in the world. To the faithful, this new opportunity was edifying as Pat Robertson’s hatred and fear could be spread into the hearts and minds of Christians all over the world. Spreading that fear

Pat Robertson Explains How Gays Will Destroy America – YouTube

of the ‘others’ paid him very well, and it changed the world.

WATCH: The Horrible Things Pat Robertson Said In His Lifetime – YouTube

Decades of poison being poured into the minds of the faithful are now bearing violent fruit.

‘The hate never went away’: US schools face violent Pride backlash | California | The Guardian

Some are worried about the calls for civil war.

‘We Need to Start Killing’: Trump’s Far-Right Supporters Are Threatening Civil War (vice.com)

(I’m trying to remain optimistic.)

There will be no civil war over Trump. Here’s why | Robert Reich | The Guardian

Despite all this rotten fruit in which the Christians in America actively still choose Trump as the one destined to save America, despite all the fear, hatred, and all the claims of violence God has wrought in wrath upon America because of its toleration of people who do not share the values of white evangelical Christians, generously spread by CBN, Grifter Pat is commonly revered and praised as a holy man. In part, because of the Christian’s fear of the outsiders, as spelled out in Section 29:1 of the Nazarene Manual, evil, dishonest, hateful men like Pat Robertson could appropriate the name of Jesus for his own profit and to everyone else’s detriment. Like it or not, Centralia Nazarene shares the blame for it is saying next to nothing about what is going on right now in this country. Its pastor has given the church over to the culture warriors. (I documented this claim in my prior posts.) This implies to me that he approves; he just doesn’t say anything too explicit to stay on the safe side.

Getting personal, I’ll relay a story from my own life where I had been religiously manipulated. I have been estranged from my mother (dad has defied her once to come see me) for 6 years now because I, my wife, and my children asked me the morning after things blew up at Christmas if they ever had to go back. I said no they didn’t. We no longer wanted to be subject to her manipulation, cruelty, and belittlement. (My mother is very happy to tell others in my family, and whoever really, about what an awful human being I am. She told me this to my face.) From a young age, amongst all her verbal and physical cruelty, she weaponized the ’honor your parents if you want to live’ (Exodus 20:12) scriptures against me. She told me that in Old Testament times, the Israelites could kill disobedient children (Deuteronomy 21: 18- 21.) A few pastors, some Christian friends, a ‘Christian’ councilor, to whom I had confided in as an adult in pain for advice advised me that I should do the ‘Christian’ thing to forgive her and submit. She’s your mother. (And as my dad says, blood is thicker than water. I owe mom respect simply because of that, he says.) God will supposedly bless me for that submission. I did that for decades enduring one mean thing after another from her on our holiday visits. (Suffering is a good thing in the Christian faith. Builds character they say.) In contrast, I thought I tried to minimize my children’s suffering although I failed to protect them from the abusive teachings of the church because I had been crushed and duped into believing that is what faithful husbands and fathers should do. Yet, thankfully my secular, rebellious side in warring contrast and glaring contradiction raised them to respect and stand up for themselves. But I had not fully allowed myself that dignity until then. Why? (I was already beginning to journey away from the faith by then. Perhaps that helped me learn to love myself—which is generally an evil thing to do in church culture despite what they say publicly otherwise.) After that fateful morning driving back home from the assault of shaming, obligation, and veiled fury we’d endured the night before (which was amplified by the fact my daughter refused to play piano at her church,) the fact that I, without reservation, did not shame them into forgiving and submitting to their grandmother, informed me that I should allow myself to separate from that common ‘Christian’ obligation which allows controlling and manipulative parents to manipulate their children by appropriating the power of God’s wrath for themselves—with the generally enthusiastic backing of the church. This, along with leaving a faith built upon the foundations of fear and shame to the profit and power of men, is a major reason why I’ve never been happier. The church supplies tremendously powerful weapons of manipulation which can be used on people of lower status. Thankfully, the vehicle for that manipulation against me now is broken and I’m fully on the road to recovery. Hello freedom.

In regard to that ‘generally evil thing’ I mentioned above, I know we are taught that Jesus said, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’ but that is not how things generally play out; it didn’t for me. The very hierarchal structure of the church itself is pedagogical. As a means of control, the church uses the obligation to ‘forgive lest ye not be forgiven’ of those faithful who are of lower status. Abused wives are often counseled to return to their husbands in a ‘godly’ manner in order to win them over for Christ. This happens a lot. Women have been killed after having received such ‘godly’ counsel (as documented in previous posts.) Children obey your parents—I know all about that—enough said. People forgive your pastors for covering up those crimes among your leadership. For example: The SBC is still resisting efforts to police themselves even after the horrific revelations of widespread sexual abuse and cover ups of those abuses.

The SBC Abuse Task Force Tries to Define ‘Credible Report’ and Puts ‘Preponderance of Evidence’ on Hold As Guidpost Solutions Gets Sidelined. | The Wartburg Watch 2022

Worse yet, it is highly likely that most SBC parishioners know little, if anything, about what is going on in their own denomination. Why would the pastors say anything about it? They could lose membership and attention for admitting to the cover ups. So the pastors remain silent, the people remain ignorant so no pressure is put on the leadership to clean up their act, and the leadership can then get away with what they are doing. THIS IS EVIL. Silence is complicity to the crime. But souls are being won for Christ, so that makes it okay.

The list goes on and on. Because of the ‘lower status problem’ people of lower status taught to endure abusive conditions tend to think of themselves as not fully deserving of love and respect like other people must be. The general culture of shaming and obligation greatly exacerbates this problem. The one good thing Matt said in his critical people sermon by relaying the ‘oxygen mask’ story (i.e ‘Put the mask on yourself first before helping others.’) But it didn’t go near far enough to address the balance of power issues which support abuse which is very common. As I get into addressing specific things said in the sermon, I’ll flesh this out a little more.

Commentary on Prayer

28:05 ‘…may we be a light to Lewis County…’

“White Christians, still 72% of the population in 1990, now comprise just 42%. Christians of color make up 25% of the country. And the unaffiliated (‘nones’) have grown to 27%.”

Rachel K. Laser. Church & State. Vol. 76. Number 6. Pg. 3. (June 2023.)

Yet, from the pulpit the preacher proclaims that God is doing mighty things to build his church. When confronted with the actual dwindling numbers the response is typically that the forces of evil have taken over America because everyone just wants to have kinky sex and what not. I would heartily agree that a force of evil is trying to take over America and that force can be summarized as the Christian Right. This force arose as grifters, for decades, flooded the Christian information networks with hate-filled poison for the purposes of gaining power and wealth for themselves. These men (mostly) largely knew and supported each other in the mission. (There are volumes of collected historical data from honest professionals who have documented how this happened. Some of it has been distilled in this blog from my readings.) Evangelicalism is attached to the prosperity gospel and Christian Nationalism. You are in it now, like it or not. This corrupt mess, Matt, is the light that is shining out to the world. When all these people who are ‘falling away’ see the ‘light’ of the church, they see a bunch of people who want to forcefully take over the country to use the power of government to make people comply. They see Gilead. They see anger and the ever-present threat of violence. They see oppression of the marginalized. They see cover ups and corruption. They see hypocrisy and greed. They see conditional love. You can claim to offer unconditional love, but the collective actions of the church strongly say otherwise. I’ve personally heard racist and homophobic things being said, without a tinge of self-awareness inside of walls of Centralia Nazarene. You don’t have to overtly preach it from the pulpit because Christian culture is infused to the core with white nationalism and hatred. You all call this hatred love—tough love for your own good is what you really mean. The niceties of ‘love’ are conditional and superficial. This is the light people see, Matt. Your job is to keep up the facade. But as you’ve said, ‘the loudest boos come from the cheapest seats.’ Well, this desperately wicked apostate is going to keep shouting from the nose-bleed section things the privileged folk seated in the club suites don’t want to hear…

28:30 Praying for Kids Camp… ‘may your Holy Spirit breakthrough if there are areas in their lives which need to be changed. Let that be evident.’

Translation: Evidence of transformation is submission to us.

Now to the sermon itself…

Bad Blood – Manipulative People: Mark 16:21-23 (Pastor Matt Bissonnette) – YouTube

31:25 ‘I want to control my environment.’ This is what manipulators say to themselves.

Alrighty then… Anyone who is perceived to not share your values and your eternal standing with the Almighty is to be dismissed as being wicked.  Any accusation of wrongdoing, tolerating an environment of lies (that is, Trumpworld,) and/or criminal activities from the seculars is just the devil’s attack on the people of God—need some political strength to push back. Environment controlled?

Minute 36. X tries to control Y for their own benefit… the whole stinking Christian Broadcasting Network? The Council for National Policy? All those prosperity preachers working for God? The pot calls the kettle black…

37:26 ‘Manipulators greatest weapons are threats and guilt.’ You said it Matt.

How about the threat of eternal torment in fire if one doesn’t believe the right things and demonstrably shows evidence of acquiescence to those proper beliefs?

How about placing the fate of the nation on the ‘purity’ of adolescent bodies? (Dr. Dobson.) I’m sure ‘Focus on the Family’ is on the menu for a good number of your parishioners.

How about the whole book of Hosea which evangelicals teach is an allegory of God and his relationship with Israel? The good husband Hosea threatens to do all manner of horrifying things to Gomer if she doesn’t shape up—then he’ll be nice to her. Today, if this was the relationship dynamic between lovers, we’d call that highly abusive, coercive, and manipulative. It’s sick. Yet, this is okay when God does it?

38:10 ‘…if you don’t pay more attention to me, I am going to find it somewhere else.’

With all the shit going on, this is an example of what Matt calls a threat? This teaching could be easily weaponized. And that’s just it… the preaching at CentNaz is just a watered-down version of Osteen’s ‘your best life now.’ This teaching is an appeal to submission which could serve as a cover for further neglect if the neglector plays his or her cards right.

38:45 ‘If you really loved me, you’d do what I’m asking you to do.’ Yes, saying this could be abusive or it could be a completely legitimate appeal. You don’t flesh that out, hence, you’ve potential taken away an appeal to love and trust in a potentially serious situation. For example: if one spouse wants to buy something that could set the family into financial jeopardy? Such a statement could shake somebody out of doing something selfish. But you mean this in a sexual way, don’t you?

39:15 You mention spiritual manipulation. ‘If you really loved Jesus, you’d do X…’

And then you turn it into a joke. Before quickly moving on to the ‘silent treatment.’ 39:39. Not even a half a minute spent on a serious, ubiquitous issue upon which I’ve written page after page and given many examples of how it happens. No mention of the very recent, visible, and massively relevant example of spiritual (and physical, emotional, sexual) abuse which was exposed in the documentary ‘Shiny Happy People’ about the Duggar family and the IBLP. Millions have been affected by this abuse as it is spread out to homeschoolers literally worldwide. The TLC channel promoted IBLC principles via the lovable Jim Bob Duggar and his faithful, happy family to millions of faithful Christians. In short, that whole IBLP/‘Quiver full’ system of thought leads to massive abuse of people who are taught that it is God’s will that they ‘faithfully’ endure the abuse of male authority figures. Young women are especially vulnerable to this abuse which is extremely widespread throughout probably all the evangelical denominations. (Watching this will rip your heart out—that is, if you had any compassion.) I’m sure that most people watching the Duggars would not think the program was promoting the ‘philosophy of secularism’ and hence it is okay to watch as it promoted a system which creates vulnerable people who can (and will) be abused with little fear of consequence. You don’t say one fucking word about this. You don’t really want your people to understand the seriousness of the issue, do you? You don’t even want them to consider the possibility (of the problem,) do you? Why? Because talking about this very real and widespread problem would piss off a lot of your parishioners. And that would affect the bottom line in reaching people for Christ, wouldn’t it? So make a joke and redirect. Appalling.

(I know I’m not going to change anyone’s mind here, but writing is cathartic for me. It helps me process what I’m thinking and feeling.)

41:10 ‘Manipulation is dysfunctional.’ That’s what the seculars are trying to tell you about church culture and all the guilt and threats hurled at human beings. All the evidence of abuse documented by the ‘outside’ secular culture is just the devil’s attack on God’ people. The people in the church are taught not to listen to anyone who is not in God’s chain of authority. This has led to great evil as the predators in the church feed on the young and impressionable. Thankfully millions of people are starting to see the church for what it is—an institution which both promotes and hides abuse.

41:18 ‘(Manipulation) is not the way designed us to be in relationship with one another.’

I know you all don’t see the glaring irony, but I do. Although I no longer believe in inerrancy, I still am very much aware of what is written in Bible and know tons more about how it was put together than the average Christian. The reason I see it as ironic, is that even though the Bible does not speak with one voice, a very sizable portion of it depicts God as an abusive husband. The Bible is chock full of horrifying threats. How this whole mess wraps up is supposedly revealed in the book of Revelation. Revelation 1:5 claims that Jesus loves (the kinds of Christians John (who is not one of the 12) approves of.) Jesus then employs a systematic plan of terror, pain, torture, and death the likes of which the world has never seen. (And the Christians cheer. Little do they know that a lot of them don’t make either. But let’s keep that part quiet and point elsewhere, shall we?)

Threats, guilt, and obligation are the weapons men employ to control other people. The Bible was compiled by men—men chose what it would include. Throughout history, men have fashioned Gods in the likeness of themselves—mean, horrible people seeking control other and to sanctify their actions.

Perhaps the one shining light was a poor man who went by the name Jesus who preached a message of mercy and standing up for the oppressed. Perhaps the closest thing we have to knowing what happened with him is recorded in the Gospel of Mark. That Gospel told a story in which, from beginning to end, none of the ‘insiders’ ever ‘got it.’ (Later scribes changed it to include a more fitting, appropriate ending which upended the author of Mark’s point. Scholars can prove this.) In the Gospel of Mark, the only people who understood who Jesus was (and I still say is) were the outsiders—even the guy in charge of nailing Jesus to the cross. That brilliant irony has been obscured by Christian arrogance—to fashion a God more suitable to us which eventually, true to character, ends up being revealed in the graphic horror of Jesus’ actions against John’s enemies in the Book of Revelation. So much for ‘love your enemies.’

Minute 43. Matthew 16:22. ‘Took him aside…’ Is this to suggest that groups can’t be manipulative? Hogwash. Groups have far greater power for manipulation than (most) individuals do. Individuals can either use the mysterious force of charisma (that I don’t understand) or formulate an argument. Groups wield the narrowness of groupthink, the authority of popular belief, and the force of peer pressure.

44:34 When you can’t say no? Aren’t Christians really into obeying ‘authority’? Just ask the ex-IBLP people about saying ‘no’ to someone higher up the chain of command in that ‘godly’ culture…

44:55 When one always feels guilty around a certain person? Agreed. However, all the social pressures of a group can rain down massive guilt down upon one who is not compliant with the group’s values.

46:03 You feel ultimately responsible? Maybe. Depends. Are you?

46:30 When one compromises their values to please others? Please look at the plank in you own eyes. Example: Christianity seeks to use government power to force others to comply with ‘Christian’ values.

47:05 There it is… the sex stuff. In the context of premarital counseling where the pastor takes it upon himself to pry into other people’s sex life: ‘I thought you were committed to saving yourselves for ‘biblical’ marriage.’ First of all, self-righteous prick, it’s none of your business. You are appropriating the authority of God for yourself here; this is manipulative because you do not wield God’s authority though you pretend to. Secondly, ‘biblical marriage’ is a man-made, patriarchal, and oppressive institution. Thirdly, ‘purity culture’ hurts people. It can cripple people’s sex lives even in marriage because of all the shame generated by the thought crime of lust which is all supposed to magically right itself on the wedding night. It all too often doesn’t. Purity pledges do not work. Pregnancy and STD rates are significantly higher in abstinence-only environments, so you’re hurting people that way as well. (Speaking of ‘controlling the environment’… No pot calling kettle black there, right?) How many young people get married before they are mentally and emotionally ready because they are horny? Lots. How many divorces result? I don’t know but Christian divorce every bit as much as seculars do—if not more. In Christian purity culture it’s not what’s inside that matters, but outside appearances to make yourselves feel better. Purity culture is shit through and through.

As Matt continues with his righteous sexual shaming story, he gives a little tell concerning the expectations of purity culture when he says, ‘I suppose it could be her,’ in context of his ‘don’t you love me, we’re good, right?’ example of sexual pressure. In practice, in the purity program, females are expected to be the gatekeepers of sexual purity because boys are ‘Wild at Heart.’ They are the one who take the blame for being temptresses. It’s a fucking oppressive trope which is highly oppressive to young women trying to figure things out. All to make the righteous happy, that’s what matters. Fuck the people who must bear the burden the righteous have placed upon them.

Joshua Harris, author of ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ has much to say about the expectations of purity culture and how it damaged his life and the lives of countless others. I strongly recommend getting his testimony on the matter.

49:00 ‘I submit my heart to God alone.’ How pious! Question: How does one understand when he or she is being manipulated by others when that same one exists within a system based upon manipulation? Getting out is not easy even after figuring it out.

50:00 ‘Don’t know if I’d call them Satan right off the bat.’ Aww…gee…thanks…

51:00 ‘… I feel like your breaking fellowship over a minor issue…’ Minor to you. Those same people who have their undies in a bunch because a women teachers and preachers in the church claim the same Jesus you do. Why doesn’t Jesus fix that little issue, Matt? Jesus fixes everything, right?

53:40 ‘…just protecting the sheep…’ The open misogynists feel the same way. They too feel they are acting for ‘an audience of one’ as you put it.

54 God told me… Just what is God’s will? There is a blatantly obvious problem with all the different Jesus people have serious doctrinal issues with different Jesus people while amid all these disputes are a bunch of people who claim that God speaks to them. They all believe they doing God’s will. That is the fundamental problem with requiring the proper authoritative beliefs to escape the fires of Hell.

55 Manipulation…sin of idolatry? I agree. What that make the millions of people working their own angles in the church then?

56:23 ‘I’m a good Nazarene so I don’t know how to dance.’ Flunked the exam? Appearance is what matters.

57 ‘…learn to trust God…’ Yep. He’ll tell you straight up. I’ll say it again, Matt, you are in the business of making slaves because you teach people that the voice in their head, which is generated by a whole host of influences I wrote about earlier, is the voice of God. That’s abusive.

58:15 ‘…dance into the hands of God, not this pastor, or that church…’ Here you are denying the very thing you are doing. You are telling your people to dance towards that little voice which shaped and formed by innumerable (which includes what you say and do,) often contradictory factors and claims which bounce around in the Christian universe. You’ve abandoned them to the vast corrupt system as you give the ‘voice’ authority.

The one-hour mark—getting tired. ‘…not going to allow others to dictate my relationship with God…’

But aren’t you dictating when shaming horny couples or sticking up for women preachers?

1:04 ‘My relationship is on Christ and Christ alone.’ On pleasing people. Galatians 1:10.

I march to my own drum as I now embrace the ‘philosophy of secularism’ which, at least on part, assumes that all people have equal rights.

1:05 ‘Manipulation is driven by fear.’ I totally agree. If love drives out fear, then the church needs a whole lot more love. We talk about the necessity of ‘law and order’ (while embracing a man who sees himself as fully beyond the law.) We do this because we want to protect ‘our way of life.’ One of your parishioners admitted this to me; didn’t have any qualms about it at all—honest truth.  I don’t recall the Jesus of Mark’s Gospel teaching us that the goal is to protect ourselves from others. Yet that is what the church is doing. I’ve previously and extensively listed evangelical attitudes toward people who are not them. It is very ugly. The more evangelical one is, the more he or she will fear the ‘invasion’ of our national border. So much for sticking up for the oppressed. People in the church fear God’s wrath and embrace grifters, like Pat Robertson, who give them someone to blame for their problems. Despite all the freedom we enjoy, the people of the church are constantly told, and hence popularly believe that they are being persecuted. The church is infused with martyr complex. Fox News, common choice for the faithful, teaches them regularly to fear immigrants and frequently appeals to their sense of persecution—all for the almighty dollar. Evangelicals in generally fear LGBTQ people as they often believe, as they are taught, that the ‘toleration of evil’ will (and has) brought the wrath of God upon us all. Thus they don’t have the right to live their own lives as they deem fit. The church is driven by fear because its teachings are delivered amongst threats and a mountain of guilt all the while claiming to alleviate those things. It is because of Christian’s fear that most of the church culture is militant, defensive, and political.

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind.

Christian culture is anything but kind. The church accuses people of doing the kinds of things they themselves are doing. They call people ‘groomers’ when they themselves support a culture which does everything it can do to protect the sexual abusers in their own ranks. They are doing this to protect the children? Hogwash. Mass shootings with AR-15’s is now a routine thing. Guns are the number 1 killer of children. But we won’t stand for any restrictions, because Christians, deep down (and increasingly openly,) reserve the right to the weaponry to set things right. (As the Neo-Nazi militia groups keep growing.) It’s not about protecting kids. After decades of violent rhetoric bombarding Christian minds, Christian influence and rage has spread to the broader culture; things are getting more and more openly violent.

‘The hate never went away’: US schools face violent Pride backlash | California | The Guardian

Surprise. Surprise.

Final Thoughts

1:11 Every situation is different. This stuff is hard to preach. Trust God. Yada-yada…

More troubling than some of the things you said, was what you didn’t say regarding the elephant in the room (if anyone is paying attention.)  Most people tend to not see things in which they haven’t been prompted to look for such a thing. (Refer to the ‘man in a gorilla suit amongst people bouncing a ball around’ experiment I mused on in a previous post.) My point is that in your sermon, you gave a bunch of mundane, domestic examples of manipulation. This trains people about what to look for. As such, you kept your congregation in the dark about the dumpster fire burning in the middle of the sanctuary. You are effectively saying ‘Nothing to see here, move along, send money. We’re saving souls for Christ.’ This is much the same as the SBC pastors saying nothing about the cesspool that is their system, so that too few will be informed to reform that system; and hence, the abusive system can keep rolling on.

Bravo.     

Unquestioning Christian Nationalism: Preaching Nehemiah

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6: 14-18

Nehemiah is commonly preached as an example of godly leadership; he was a fellow who decisively acted and used state power to make things happen for the people of God. The story fits in well with the current Christian culture which seeks to use political power to accomplish godly purposes which are largely discerned through the strength of feelings. If you see yourself as among God’s chosen, and have strong feelings about how God is speaking to you (and yours,) what’s not to like? Those outside of that certainty, perhaps not so much. This polemic will exclude most of the questions concerning entanglements with Zoroastrianism, timeline discrepancies, archeological evidence regarding the state of the wall and the success of the rebuilding/repopulation projects, and the many complex questions concerning how the books of Ezra and Nehemiah fit together to simply take it as it is commonly taught in evangelical environments focusing on how the common (understanding of the) narrative supports the Christian Nationalist program which is comprised of people who think very highly of their God-given position to sift, exclude, and rule the rest of us for our own (supposed) good. I’ll begin by summarizing the story of Nehemiah to then shift to make an argument about how the current use and understanding of that story conflicts with other teachings throughout the Bible before moving towards how the story is inverted to fit current Christian political and social goals. As the overall number of evangelicals continue to diminish, the anxiety and perception of threat to the average evangelical grows. To maintain a sense of safety and strength, those evangelical groups who remain faithful have been for decades concentrating their influence to maintain comfort and the sense of supremacy. The writing is on the wall as white Christian demographic supremacy fades so they preach that representative and inclusive democracy must go. The evangelical’s take on the story of Nehemiah helps to provide godly sanction to the mission of silencing ‘the others’ to continue the Great Work.

Perhaps a better understanding of Nehemiah’s story is that Nehemiah himself is the antithesis of a righteous leader, but that is not how the story is commonly taught. A brief synopsis of the story goes that Nehemiah was a cupbearer to Artaxerxes I (465-424 BC,) the supreme political power in that area at that time. (Nehemiah was anyone but an ‘ordinary guy.’) Worship at the Temple in Jerusalem had been reestablished with the laying of the foundations of the ‘second temple’ in 536 BC under the commission of Cyrus the Great. Although temple worship was occurring in Jerusalem, Nehemiah was distraught upon hearing about the ‘shame’ of Jerusalem’s walls and gates remaining in ruins after 140 or so years. (The Samaritans had prevented the wall from being rebuilt.) Nehemiah prayed to the ‘god of heaven’ (there is no record that God answered this prayer) and then took it upon himself to solicit a commission from Artaxerxes to return to Jerusalem to rebuild its walls and gates. Nehemiah went to Jerusalem to organize a rebuilding project which was met with local opposition who were perhaps rightly concerned that the Jews might be organizing a revolt against the king (Neh 2: 19, Ezra 4:13.) Nehemiah refused to address these concerns to rather to take up arms to defend the project. After the walls were rebuilt, Nehemiah institutes economic reforms ending collecting interest from Jews. (This could make him popular.)

In all this, we are to take Nehemiah’s word that Tobiah and Sanballat are malevolent actors not worthy of assurance that the Jews are fixing to rebel. Granted, they are important actors defending their own interests, but evil? It seems reasonable to assume local leaders would be significantly incentivized to quell any potential for rebellion and tax evasion as they were all living under the boot of an empire. The admission that Nehemiah does not want to talk to these people who reside outside ‘the assembly of the Lord’ is very telling. Nehemiah blithely dismisses the concern (Neh 6:8) although his actions say otherwise. No matter, the ‘others’ are to be brushed off as ‘distractions,’ ‘haters,’ and ‘enemies’ because ‘God has spoken,’ as Matt put it his March 19th, 2023 sermon at CentNaz. (That’s just plain dishonest, Matt. Nowhere in the text does God speak; but I’m getting ahead of myself.) Now that Nehemiah’s power has been solidified, religious reforms follow as Ezra the Scribe read the Law which was ‘in his hand,’ (Ezra 7: 14) that is, in his power, to the people to separate themselves from ‘the others.’ (Scholarship tends to place the assembly of today’s Torah in the hands of Ezra.) The land was claimed as their own (Neh 9:6) and the tithing system was reestablished (Neh 10.) The ‘in’ (golah) group was named and (re)established accordingly in Nehemiah 11 & 12. All of this led to the violent separation of the holy from the unholy in chapter 13. (But Matt is not going to talk about this.)

Nehemiah 13 is very specific in its ethnic prejudice. No Ammonite (sorry Zelek) or Moabite (sorry Ruth) shall enter the assembly of God (Deut 23:3, Neh 13: 1.) All those of foreign descent were separated from the assembly (Neh 13:3.) Support for the church was firmly accounted for and teeth was given to the laws enforcing the Sabbath. Then the whole affair ended up with violence as Nehemiah admits to assaulting people (Neh 13: 25) for the apparent crime of being of the ‘wrong’ lineage.  Apparently, to be holy, the unholy wives and children had to be ‘put away,’ divorced and disowned (Ezra 10) to maintain the purity of the holy people. (Welcome to Utopia.)

Lots of apologetics minded folks have tried to sugar-coat this to say that this purge was not ethnic in nature. I think the gymnastics involved to accomplish this are insurmountable. (As a former evangelical apologetics ‘expert,’ now that I’m outside of that culture, I think the general arguments to explain this away to the modern, liberal mind are convoluted and weak.) Nehemiah has been often cited as a defense for forbidding interracial marriage. (R.J. Rushdoony, reconstructionist and godfather of the Christian homeschool movement was explicit about this. Gary North and Doug Wilson are Rushdoony-lite descendants who have softened this kind of rhetoric for more modern ears.) The story of Nehemiah, if we are to suppose (as good evangelicals are instructed to do) his actions to have been indeed sanctioned by God, serves to uphold the unification of the powers of church and state, and to uphold the righteousness of separating ‘us’ from ‘them.’ It upholds and justifies the use of violence to accomplish this separation. The culture of separation Nehemiah and Ezra established led to the divisions and hatred between the Jews, Samaritans, and the Gentiles. The culture of separation continues today.

Jesus, Paul, and the later Christians who complied the New Testament, which included often unfairly maligning the Jewish leadership (strongly contributing to a long history of antisemitism and violence of Christian people against Jewish people,) most often sought to end Jewish ethnic and racial supremacy as it relates to who are the ‘chosen’ people of God. The New Testament thus supposedly supplants the Old, in an odd way, one people group for another even though some passages in the Bible say that all human beings are the inheritors of God’s greatest gift to us. Now that the white, Protestant Europeans who landed at Plymouth to eventually establish the greatest nation on this green earth (so we are told,) have assumed the position as God’s chosen, Nehemiah’s story has been appropriated to support the Christian Nationalist narrative and mission to save the world from the powers of the godless heathens. (As the enigmatic, inscrutable, complex love-hate relationship between Jews and Christians continues to confuse the hell out of me…)

The faithful may argue that this concept of separation was just an Old Testament thing. Think again. This is why I prefaced with the passage from 2 Corinthian 6: 14-18. The language is binary and explicit—light from dark, righteous from evil. This passage has been used literally to support the separation between religions but also based upon skin color. Our Puritan roots, the very success of the Protestant work ethic, and the assumption that the descendants of these ideals are now tasked with saving the rest of the world as they are ‘the city on the hill,’ fits very nicely into the belief behind the unification of church and state because if you take the Paul’s binary language to heart those who are not specifically Christian are literally evil. Do we take this literally? Or as hyperbole from which we make practical adjustments?

(Concerning being literally evil as an ‘other’: As Matt said, either on the 12th or 19th [forgot which,] something to the effect that, ‘just the name Geshem just sounds like he’s a really bad dude.’ Such an explicitly flippant, stupid, off-hand, unsubstantiated ‘observation’ from a religious authority in a sermon shows me the prejudice is just baked into a plethora of matters Christian don’t bother to give a second thought about how they hurt people by not caring about other people’s perceptions and experiences. Did Matt make this idiotic statement because Geshem was described as the Arab? I don’t know. Was it prejudicial? Definitely.)

Thus, it would seem if Paul’s directive were to be taken literally, those who do not profess to be Christian are not fit for leadership over Christians simply because they are evil. (But then there’s Romans 13. Ugh. Confused? Me too.) It seems then, that if God’s people are to remain holy, they either must remove themselves from the world, as people like the Amish have attempted to do. Or they must wield the political power to make the appropriate prohibitions and separations happen. The founding fathers did their best to create a secular government but white Christians have not had to worry about much since they’ve been demographically dominant for the past several hundred years. They’ve enjoyed the upper hand socially and politically and have thus so far been able to impose their will through democratic processes. Now that white Christians are in decline numerically, adjustments need to be made to keep the proper prohibitions and separations in place. Forward looking people who pioneered the Christian Right have been working this ‘problem’ for decades.

The Christian political establishment is more than happy to ally itself with people and organizations who do not necessarily share the same evangelical faith but share the same goal of moving the country towards a ‘Christian‘ autocracy. The ambitious know how to play the game with this very well-organized voting bloc. Paul’s directive to separate is now softened to the point where it is politically expedient. The evangelical largely sees the separation of light from dark as akin to the separation between Right from Left. This binary model encourages infiltration by power-hungry people who will claim the appropriate faith to be accepted, and thus gain power, to accomplish their own personal goals by offering the faithful what they want to hear politically. Being recognized as faithful it not so much following the peaceful, inclusive, and humble teachings of Christ as it is the mere public profession of faith and adherence to the Right’s political agenda. This is in good part why our leadership is populated with a mass of vitriolic miscreants, who better than 90% profess to be Christian, who rail on about the demonic ‘wokeness’ (an appropriated word which now is a catch all for anything the Right doesn’t like,) they, when pressed, cannot even define. We could thank Billy Graham and the Christian Right movement for this development of Christians fighting against communism and for the American way.

But how dare I criticize Billy? Reinhold Niebuhr criticized Graham’s popular program of public profession, which birthed things like ‘the sinner’s prayer,’ for its ‘pietistic individualism.’ (Although Niebuhr had kind things to say about Graham himself.) The historical collective action of evangelical Christians towards social causes, for both good and ill, eventually gave way to a very individualistic faith which suited and adjusted itself to the cares and desires of the individual. The doctrine of capitalism got merged in and the ‘social gospel’ faded to be associated with the evils of socialism and the communist threat. The shades of gray of collective human rational debate gave way to a black and white ethic guided by individual feelings backed by the authority of God. It’s absurd, but that’s what it’s come to be.

After several hundred years under this ‘Bible-backed’ supremacist assumption (God talks to me and not thee,) your own preacher does not have to be explicitly offensive to get the point across. All the cultural appropriations and assumptions are baked in thanks to a massive Christian media empire. (I’ve cited all kinds of statistics in this blog to support this assertion.) Evangelical Christians now believe in the use of political power to accomplish ‘God’s Ends,’ as they are continually filled with fear concerning the threat of ‘the others.’ Violence to achieve the ‘ends’ is no big deal. (Continued, and growing, sympathy for the ‘patriots’ of J6 shows this. Thanks to complicity and Tucker.) Helping this ‘end,’ FoxNews pastors a huge flock who’ve been trained by the evangelical system to receive the message; those at Fox are proven, through tangible evidence obtained from uncovered internal communications, bald-faced liars, frauds, frequently vicious, but they know their audience. FoxNews knows what their audience wants to hear, the actual truth does not matter, the mission is too important, and the illusion of supremacy must be maintained. To the evangelical, the ‘truth’ of God’s will is both personally felt and collectively revealed. The modern evangelical may be more forgiving than Nehemiah was, but there is still a very clear ‘us’ and ‘them.’ Pulling the curtain back reveals some very ugly stuff.

Summarizing much of what I’ve previous written about concerning the advancement of the Christian Nationalist agenda, the Christian media machine is immense informing the masses about how to interact with God. Money changes hands, power arrangements are negotiated, the bounds of who is ‘in’ and who is ‘out’ are set. All this cultural influence programs our minds to adhere to an amazingly self-regulatory system balancing charisma with self-interest to keep ‘everyone’ (that is, God’s chosen) happy and the money flowing. The effect of all this cultural assumption and practice upon our understanding of how we now come to hear God is profound. The collective Christian culture, with all it many voices and desires has literally become the voice of God. How the book of Nehemiah has been preached for the past several hundred years has helped immensely with this process. I’ll explain.  

It is curious to note that the typical pattern of ‘revelation’ in the Bible has God specifically speaking to someone to do something specific. Noah, make a boat (Gen 6: 14.) Abram go to Canaan (Gen 12.) Isaac don’t go to Egypt (Gen 26: 12.) Jacob, go home (Gen 31: 3.) Moses, tell Pharaoh to let my people go (Ex 3.) Joshua, invade Canaan (Josh 1.) Gideon attack the Midianites (Jud 7:2.) God audibly called Samuel to be a prophet (1 Samuel 3.)  God told David were to go (2 Samuel 2: 1.) This pattern and explicit claim to the LORD speaking specific things continued through the recognized prophets, time and time again. The means of these interactions are often unclear, but the Bible makes the claim that the LORD (or an ‘angel of the Lord’) was telling something specific to a human being. Often times these revelations as depicted in scripture were accompanied by some miraculous manifestation and/or powerful personal appearance which often inspired great fear (which required reassurance to the hearer, i.e. ‘Fear not…’) The book of Nehemiah has none of this—anywhere. Yet preachers preach as though Nehemiah had heard from God even though the text itself makes no such claim. This is just plain dishonest.

Ezra 1 makes the claim that the LORD ‘stirred up the spirit of Cyrus king of Persia’ which led to a proclamation to commission and fund the rebuilding of the temple in Jerusalem. I’ll offer that the benefit of the doubt. However, the LORD himself remains silent throughout the book of Nehemiah. Nehemiah felt ‘shame’ concerning the state of Jerusalem’s walls and gates but there was no mention of God telling Nehemiah to go and rebuild them. Sure, Nehemiah prayed about it—but there was no recorded answer in the book accepted in the Protestant Canon. Why?

This is where human interest lifts its head. I propose that what happened in the compilation of Ezra and Nehemiah was to build a narrative to reforge an identity. What actually happened in history is a matter of much scholarly debate, but the return from exile narrative compiled in Ezra-Nehemiah seeks to establish an exclusive national identity. It was a matter of pride. (And control over the local population.)

Pastor Matt’s March 12, 2023 sermon assumes that God called Nehemiah to rebuild those walls and gates; Matt made it very clear that Nehemiah was responding to God’s call even though, to repeat, there is no record of God actually speaking in the book which records Nehemiah’s deeds. But because Nehemiah felt shame, prayed to God, and successfully garnered and organized the resources to accomplish the mission, it is assumed that it must have been God’s will—despite all the ‘difficulties’ I wrote about above.

Matt’s assumption fits perfectly into the charismatic understanding of how God communicates to us. This is how preachers can get up there to ask, ‘Hey, what are you passionate about?’ (Talk about herding cats…) What are people generally passionate about? The possibilities are seemingly endless. But not to worry, the machinery of appearance, language, pride, and self-interest regulates the whole mess in good part through what I talked about in an earlier post, the scapegoating mechanism. We must have somebody to blame for our problems—perceived or otherwise. This provides a way for us to divert and not look deeply into the consequences of our own beliefs and actions. Taking the assumptions which guide how Nehemiah is taught, what we think is our own agency, whatever we feel passionately about can now have God’s sanction. Just fill in the blank for whatever (within commonly accepted righteous guidelines of course) you desire. Awesome. So hey, you feel passionately about the unborn, right? Pray about it. Then step up to the plate, get involved, give money to the authoritarian organizations which claim to be pro-life. To hell with all the destruction, suffering, poverty, and death which comes from taking away women’s rights over their own bodies. Example one.

I know these arguments of mine anger righteous people, but time and again I’ve made the argument that pro-life people are not actually pro-life because the means they employ is mechanical, distant, willfully ignorant, dishonest, and authoritarian. The pro-life crowd doesn’t care much about those already born—that is a demonstrable fact. You may say (or feel that) you do but your collective political actions say otherwise by consistent evangelical Christian opposition to health care, education, and other social systems which alleviate poverty, mother and child mortality, crime, and other associated social and health care problems since those kinds of government interventions are almost universally regarded as bringing the evil of ‘socialism.’ (But what the hell, giving millions of dollars in taxpayer money to build an Ark Park in Kentucky is A-OK! That’s the Christian kind of socialism.) There is an inverse relation between mortality rates, poverty, and the relative strength of local abortion laws. That is shameful and this infuriates me.

Evangelicals try to enact these harmful laws in order to make themselves feel better. Making themselves feel like they are doing the will of God is what matters—if the plan is God’s will and/or if God himself has spoken is just assumed because Christians feel that it is. They won’t look at the measurable human results of what they are doing. Nope. Just pray about it. Your feelings, as formed and guided by your peers at church, on social media and the frauds at FoxNews, Focus on the Family, Hillsong, Salem Communications, or some silver-tongued, charismatic pastor, prophet, apostle, et. al., will be your guide. Those feelings rolling around in your heart and head are literally the voice of God—so says your preacher and the ubiquitous Christian culture which has just about everyone who thinks of themselves to be important saying, ‘the Spirit is saying to me X…’ or ‘the Lord has given me a word on my heart for you…’ thus putting the power and authority of God behind what the human assuming authority is saying. It’s dishonest. But it is all nicely concealed in pious language where the righteous adherent could cite the story of Nehemiah which shows that the strength and, better yet, the success (as we define it) of feeling and conviction proves that God has spoken. To hell with all the people who have been deeply hurt by this righteous charade. I do not believe the God of heaven intends for one person (or group) to lord over another person (or group.) We are all equally God’s children. Your observations, reasoning, and opinions are your own.

Addressing sermon point number two involves acknowledging the deep state of division in this country. Both Left and Right are calling each other fascists. This is how I see it: For example, the Right sees the Left as fascist because the Left defends the freedom and dignity of LGBTQ people to be accepted as they are. The righteous see LGBTQ people as so repulsive that it is an infringement upon their own sensibilities and ‘liberties’ that they should have to acknowledge and coexist with them. ‘Love the sinner, hate the sin’ is horseshit both philosophically and practically. Disgust blares throughout your national ‘conversation’ about our national downfall. You all are fooling yourselves if your honestly think that pithy little aphorism can hide the obvious scapegoating from those who are not you. As those who are not you see it, any policy, practice, or law which does not privilege the righteous, that is, white evangelicals, is defined as being fascist. This leaves us all very little to talk about with each other.

(One clear example of Christian privilege: The strongly demonstrable contributing ideology of white Christian nationalism was left out of the J6 committee’s report even though a lot of expert testimony was given, and it is a clear factor as social scientists have compiled volumes of evidence to support this claim. I think it safe to surmise that FoxNews would have picked the inclusion of that evidence in an official report to say something to the effect that not only is the demonic Left picking on poor Donald but also provide even more evidence that the Fake News Left just plain hates God and His chosen people. I think it is also safe to say that if Islamic ideology was a factor in the violence of that day there would have been volumes of testimony and analysis included in the report.)

The Left sees the right as fascist because what the Right is doing is demonstrably supremacist and exclusionary and this historically has led to violence; and they are not slowing down. For example, besides all the vitriol about eliminating transgenderism, which is people, concentration camps for homeless people, drag queens, the clearing of school libraries to suit the sensibilities of righteous folk, on and on…, righteous legislators in Florida have proposed Putin-imitating legislation which would require Bloggers who write about people in government there to register with the government, report income, or face penalties. That’s what Putin did in his country years ago and the Christian Right is trying to enact here. That’s just plain fascist as the righteous people are grasping at any power they can get their hands on. (And you all have the fucking audacity to talk in your sermons about listening to other people?!)

In sermon point number 2, Matt made it abundantly clear, that like Nehemiah, righteous people, having the sanction of God Almighty, have no obligation to address the concerns of critics. Those critics are ‘haters.’ As Matt said in minute 43, ‘the loudest boos come from the cheapest seats.’ (Fuck you, Matt.) So, you all are on a mission from God. I get it. Continuing in minutes 44 & 45, we learn that the only criticism the good Christian might have to listen to can only come from someone considered to be a brother or sister in Christ. (Do you really understand what you are saying?) Furthermore, the faithful are taught that criticism is to be chewed upon briefly like gum—if there is nothing there, the Holy Spirit will tell you if there is truth to this, spit it out. The message here is that the infinite number of things ‘God’ tells people to do, no matter how disparate, contradictory, exclusionary, and violent they may be, all, evidently, are equally true. As Matt made very clear, Nehemiah did not listen to his evil critics, righteous Nehemiah listened to God—even though nowhere in the text says that he was doing so. No matter.  

Build your fucking walls, enact your fascist laws to give a façade to righteousness. Call for the elimination of various people you are disgusting with. Decry godless socialism. Attack the school system with vouchers. Separate. Divide, Rebel. Fund lies. Offer completely wacked out sex advice. Stand for the flag, kneel for the cross. Privilege yourselves because only you are righteous and as such are worthy of having a voice. Might I remind you, that even in your sermon you acknowledged that Nehemiah’s prayer to bring down the wrath of God upon the ‘haters’ was not what Jesus would have done. (Matt taught in minute 49 that Jesus was not on the scene yet to teach what he taught—so that makes this kind of prayer to curse your enemies okay. Evidently, the ‘truth’ of God’s word changes.) Jesus on the cross said, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they do.’ That is what Jesus did. But that’s not very personally empowering, is it? Neither is it safe. It is so much easier to defend the interests of yourself and your own group by demonizing your ‘opposition,’ as Nehemiah and Matt did. After all, the non-Spirit filled folk do not have the ‘answers’ as you do.

How human we are, right? We want to stick it to our enemies—the enemies of all that is good and true. This is why I see evangelicalism, the whole, rotten, corrupt, power-hungry, supremacist culture is rife with hypocrisy. You all follow Nehemiah’s example of leadership to grant special privileges to the righteous people while casting ‘the others’ who will not conform to your standards for what is human, thus deserving rights and recognition, out of the assembly of God. Just be reminded, again, that God, as recorded in your own Bibles, was silent in Nehemiah’s story. Yet in minute 50, Matt informs us that Nehemiah was seeking ‘the heart of God’ after he cited Nehemiah’s prayer calling down curses upon his enemies. That is seeking the heart of God? No Matt. Nehemiah is telling God what Nehemiah wants. God is silent in the text. No matter. Matt is twisting the text to suit the faithful’s desires which are making slaves out of the faithful. You are not freeing your flock, Matt; you are imprisoning them.

The evangelical is being actively taught that the internal thoughts and feelings of the individual are the voice of God. Critics like me who say, ‘Are you sure that’s God speaking?’ are ‘haters’ to be ignored. In minute 55 we learn that ‘the opposition will only be as loud as your internal insecurities allow them to be.’ (1) Reasoning and scholarship has nothing to do with knowing God’s will. (2) The strength of the feelings determines the certainty of God’s message. Therefore, be confident in your feelings that God has spoken (to you.) This should immunize the faithful against the questions of people like me who point out that the text does not say what the authority, in this case Matt, is assuming and teaching. To this critic, Matt exclaiming that Nehemiah was merely pointing the criticism up to God is not anywhere near as pious as it sounds; on the contrary, Nehemiah was (piously) claiming the authority of God who was, according to your own text, silent on the matter (even as Matt repeatedly claimed that Nehemiah was listening to God.) This kind of teaching, Matt, enables hucksters to pretend to hear from God, convey that ‘message’ from God, in gussied up pious language, to rally the troops to get with the program and support the building of the ‘kingdom.’ Millions have been deeply hurt, ripped off, and been taken advantage of because of this kind of teaching. In building the kingdom, we have built a violent, supremacist, furtive, conspiratorial, very tolerant of dishonesty, and authoritarian movement to save America for God which relies upon personal feelings of fear and desire to survive and flourish. And you Matt are directly feeding the beast with your dishonest teaching.

Now the faithful are free to feel like God has spoken even when supporting exclusion, hatred, violence, and oppression of ‘the others.’ After all, the righteous Nehemiah was completely okay with pulling the hair out of those who were not holy (Neh 13:25.) The process of ‘othering’ dehumanizes human beings. Once ‘othering’ is legitimized, the ‘pure’ folk become susceptible to the disgust and scapegoating mechanisms which leads to violence. I don’t believe one can pull the hair out of another human being without diminishing their humanity first. The teachings under the ideological umbrella of Christian Nationalism teach the faithful to ‘other’ human beings who are not seen as being part of the tribe. This is not love. Supporting nationalism is the antithesis of love. I do not recall Jesus teaching the Christian Nationalist approach to saving America for God. Christian Nationalists are appropriating the power of God to take what they want for themselves.

Don’t think you get a pass from me for not explicitly (that is, using clear, direct language) supporting Christian fascism, hiding behind the veil of plausible deniability. We are deeply, deeply divided on many matters including the opposing definitions of what love is. As I see the matter, you all teach a gospel of submission to your own superiority in order to experience a kind of dominionistic utopia on earth now and to be saved from the fires of hell after we die. I am ashamed for being fooled for so long; and this is why I am so passionate about opposing something so destructive to millions of people. But hey, why listen to me? I left the flock. I’m not worth of consideration according to your teaching. Regardless of what you all teach, this ex-vangelical believes that pretending there is no problem, as you Christians conceit to have the ‘answers,’ (as I once also believed) while upholding a man who made up a mission saying it was from God, which led to cruelty, separation, and violence as an ideal of Christian leadership, is just plain despicable. But hey, you have fears and anxieties to sooth and a world to conquer for Christ; that is, yourselves. You must be Christ-like and fight, fight, fight. I understand.  

Not Sexy but Very Rewarding

It has been said that deconstructing is merely the latest chic, sexy, thing to do. Yes, it seems to be the thing to do, but the common process involved in the millions of us leaving the church is not happening for the reasons some defensive evangelicals are framing up. It was not a temper tantrum; the process of the decision to leave was slow, deliberate, and painful. Now that I’m out, it is hard to accept that I really used to believe that hurtful stuff. Nobody likes admitting being wrong, but it is sure welcome to be free.

Ex-vangelicals are processing the admission of being wrong about something that was so central, (pardon the pun) so fundamental, to our being. It’s hard. Pulling back the curtain to reveal so much hurt, cruelty, and oppression, all done in the name of ‘love,’ in the name of Christ, to call the lost world and all the billions of people away from incurring the infinite wrath of a righteous God who will throw all those who will not say (or do) X, (What that X is is subject to much debate among the holy folk,) into the agony of fire forever, has been heart wrenching. I still follow what is being taught at my old church because there are people there whom I deeply care about. (And I like being informed.) Now that I better understand the ‘code’ and see the world through a new lens, what I am hearing and seeing appalls me. Those within that deeply fucked up system do not consciously understand how they are being harmed. (I was deeply, deeply harmed.) But they suffer as they innocently pray for deliverance from the fear and anxiety common ‘Christian’ teaching instills in them to keep them docile and compliant as the institution seeks to feed itself as it seeks to conquer the world for Christ.  

The whole mess is masked in the delusion that the institution of the church itself is that which will brings salvation to the world; people just need Jesus, the ‘answer’ to everything, and all would be well—under the inculcated assumption that the institution itself, the church writ large, is that which possesses ‘Jesus’ to dispense to the unwashed masses. With all its empty talk of unmerited grace and unconditional love, the demands of the institution itself by the very manner in which it is structured say something very different—you need to believe (and do) x, y, and z to be a Christian in good standing. Since the spoken message (of unmerited grace) is in direct conflict with the (power) structures governing acceptability which dispense those messages, the cognitive dissonance generated is just plain astounding. (A primary reason for this is because the infiltration of the ‘seven mountain mandate’ into just about everything evangelical; but that is not my focus here.) This dissonance in turn generates copious amounts of anxiety and/or misdirected rage which can either result in doubling down in ‘faith’ or, as my case eventually, rebellion. This is why we are so divided—those within the holy framework cannot see this dissonate dynamic and those outside it are appalled by its cultish vibe.

To the faithful, the message and understanding of grace and salvation is commonly understood in context of faithful acquiescence to the authority structures of the church. Those who question things, really anything outside of what that culture accepts, are wicked rebels. I used to think I could work within the system to persuade but the prevalent parishioner’s enthusiastic acceptance of the blatant authoritarianism and unquestioning demand of ‘whimsical’ Tim ultimately convinced me that was hopeless. ‘Authority’ is generated, in short, by stoking fear, generating threats, determining who’s in and who’s out, figuring who’s safe and who’s not, thus feeding the anxiety so that money can collected from the fearful to confront the threat, all while maintaining the appearance that you’re a nice, caring fellow who has the interests of the little people in mind—wash, rinse, repeat. The process of generating authority creates and feeds an ‘us and them’ mentality—this way of thinking bleeds out and infects every aspect of our culture.

There is so much money to be made throughout the whole process. FoxNews, as one example, is making a bloody fortune capitalizing on something the church actively feeds—you know, Culture War! The culture war is a great rallying point for all the various factions, who really have serious doctrinal differences with each other, to point their collective fingers at the ‘woke’, the liberals, the queers, as being the enemies of God and this Great Nation. (The funny thing is that if the righteous folk ever did eliminate the queer, woke evil doers, they would turn and rip each other to shreds for domination in a heartbeat. Humans have a constant need for an ‘other’ to serve as a scapegoat to relieve built up interpersonal tensions.) As more and more ‘agents of Satan’ fall away, the anxiety doubles again; the fact that a reason must be given to explain away something which ‘God’ said was going to happen but didn’t, guarantees dissonance, division, blame, scapegoating, and anxiety about whether Christians are going to ‘win’ the fight. Temper Tantrum Trump was anointed by God to fight. He lost. Deny, deny, deny. Double down in anger and frustration. Limit God by saying the forces of Satan were (and are) just too damn strong. Add to the little Christian’s shame by claiming they just didn’t have the faith to carry the fight to vanquish the forces of darkness. It’s about control.

Christians, your leaders prey on you; they manipulate you by using the ever-pervasive sense of threat to bolster the efforts of the power (and prestige) hungry to worm their way into ever more political control to ‘make America great again’ as one nation under the (Christian) God.’ They’ve fooled you into thinking you all will ‘rule and reign’ with them ‘under the lordship of Jesus Christ’ (Che Ahn) and it’s all going to be wonderful. (You all really should examine your motives.) Now that politics, business, and religion (three of the seven mountains) are well enmeshed in each other, the practical matter of what is in and what is out pushes, pulls, and feeds both upwards and downwards fueling the conflict between the controllers and the controlled. The vast Christian empire, the aspects of which I talk about in this blog, seeks to set the rules of the power game. Play the game, get rewarded. Cross the system, especially if you are a pastor, get cast out.

As I’ve said for many years, without fully comprehending the depth of that reality, the church is far more ‘American’ than it is ‘Christian.’ People just looked at me and rolled their eyes. ‘What is Mark not happy with now?’ What prolonged the inevitable was that I was an affluent, strong, tall, educated, white male. I strongly suspect that if had raised the kind of hell I raised as a woman, or as someone not in the dominate demographic, my protestations would have been met with a lot more open hostility. There is of course no way to test this idea. But judging by the whole system circles the wagons to protect itself, I believe this claim is not too far out there. As I’ve said time and time again, the church, with all its entanglements, its clear quest for power, works to keep everyone, I mean everyone, under the banner of its authority. Yet even the prophets and apostles have their constraints as to what they can pitch to the faithful. Brilliantly, the New Apostolic Reformation system has devised a way to both uphold and share power with each other. Individual pastors working in churches both big and small have less ability to question the vastly interconnected and capitalized system because they have a living to make. Push too hard, question too much, the faithful will fire you. The extensive system regulates itself quite well. (C. Peter Wagner was an organizational genius.) The system rewards assholes because, let’s be honest, it takes an asshole to claim apostolic authority over other people. (The funny thing, the assholes likely even believe their own shit.) The people not only are conditioned to accept the authority of assholes but to love those assholes for showing them the way to power. Trump, by far the biggest, most egregious, open and unashamed asshole ever to be embraced, and even worshipped (golden Trump at CPAC for example,) by the Christian establishment to save American for God is my cited proof that that. The people expect that it will take an asshole to save because they want certainty of victory over all those they’ve been trained to fear; assholes deliver that (sense of) certainty. When the whole fucking thing implodes into violence (like January 6th) the apostolic authorities (namely Dutch Sheets) can just shamelessly blame the ubiquitous demonic powers for the violence implying that faithful were just not committed enough to carry out the wishes of a very limited God. Inject more anxiety, foster more fear and an ever-present sense of inadequacy. Double-down, have faith (in us,) we are winning, so say all the assholes supposedly anointed by God to say so.

It is so hard to admit we are wrong. Nobody wants to admit it else the whole system would crash. (And I would say that the accelerating ex-vangelical movement is clear evidence of the growing awareness of the church’s depravity. The local rhetoric of ‘God is doing mighty things in our church’ seeks to bolster the morale of those who remain faithful against the fear of impending collapse.) This cycle of anxiety, rage, and doubling down ensures that the most depraved amongst us, those willing to support (or not confront) common lies, will remain in power to maintain the dominant demographic’s sense of comfort, righteousness, and superiority.

The other survival technique for pastors lower down in the power structure is just to pretend there is nothing wrong with the whole fucked up system. Enter my old church—Centralia Church of the Nazarene. No evangelical church is immune—the power of Christian media, the larger evangelical culture entwined with a business model (Purpose Driven Life—Church, yada, yada) and a reliance upon attaining political power to fulfill the purposes of God, infects the whole mess. It’s all culture war now. (On the 8th day God created an asshole who will shit on everyone who is not among the chosen.) For the lowly pastor, it’s conform or be kicked out. Confront only that which is safe to confront. Use the common, fill-in-your-own-blank language to spur the congregation towards Jesus’ goals. Never ever be pointed, specific, or truly confrontational. This, finally, brings me to a sermon delivered in my old haunt on February 5th, 2023. Preface over; let’s talk about self-preservation.

The multi-part sermon series I’m going to address today is entitled Blueprint; Belong, Believe, Become, Serve. The nationalist, charismatic sector of the church is ‘growing’ all for the wrong reasons. The church is a product that promises power. It pitches a relief in response to the anxiety it generates. Starting in minute 48, the pastor repeats the trope that Christians are persecuted. That is false but it is useful to the institution seeking to feed and empower itself. The church is concentrating and radicalizing as the fear of ‘replacement,’ thanks Tucker Carlson and FoxNews, builds. Oh, the poor American Christian, oppressed by drag queens, and abortionists… What we need in response is strong leaders. (People like DeSantis who will bring down the wrath of God against ‘those’ people? You don’t say.)  We need to assemble the ‘resources necessary’? To do what exactly? What specifically are these ‘resources’ Matt? Oh, you don’t say. Culture warriors, feel free to fill that in as you see fit. Power, power, power.

49:30 The notion that everyone is a ‘minister’ is a crock. I know Paul says that, but my standard for a minister are a bit higher. Those ‘spiritual’ ministers who advocate for the power of nationalism are wrecking balls. To them, the specific doctrines concerning the nature of the trinity, the atonement, eschatology, etc., are not anywhere as important as important as acquiring the power necessary to end non-existent Christian oppression. You repeated it yourself Matt, Christians are oppressed. You are affirming what the whole Christian machine teaches Christians to fear. You are supporting a massive lie in support of the quest for power. People naturally will believe and act in ways to protect themselves; Jesus, to my recollection, did not teach this approach to ministry. Jesus laid down his power; he hung out with the marginalized. The ‘Family,’ ‘Focus on the Family,’ Salem Communications, the Council for National Policy, as facilitated in smokey backrooms, and ‘open’ events such as the ‘National Prayer Breakfast,’ will make damn sure all Christians are afraid. We must make ‘the others’ submit to us to contain the threat. You reinforce this trope of oppression for your own preservation.

49:45 What I do is think. All those years I just felt something was dreadfully wrong. I made predictions based on observations of character which came to pass. I confronted things that I did not fully understand that now I thump myself on the head saying ‘duh!’ Hillsong, for example, is a cesspool. Such a system begs for exploitation and corruption. And that is what happened. I knew that when I heard in Sunday School that Trump was anointed by God to save America that Trump was a total wrecking ball sack of shit that the GOP would eventually love to jettison for a more appropriate, and smarter, fascist like DeSantis. I just felt, even when I had young daughters that I wanted to protect, that purity culture is horrifying, terribly destructive, and demonstrable that it does not achieve its stated objective—it cripples people sexually—especially females. (Still kicking myself for not opposing it even more than I did.) Hell, I called the MOPS implosion. I knew Dave was in deep shit for trying to minister to everyone ‘riding on the edge of the coin’ as COVID was helping to radicalize everything. I called these matters based upon judgement of character while I was still an ‘insider.’ But I was perceived as just another malcontent. So much for ‘thinking.’ Sit down, shut up, send money.

49:50 Play your role? What was my role, Matt? Am I mad? Yes. I put two decades and 10% of my income into the church. A part of me wishes I could have that time and money back. I was faithful! My ‘spheres of influence’? (Sounds like NAR language to me.) Again, I think. There are people in your church I care about deeply. They are being misled into supporting something that is both vampiric and supremacist. No, I’m not mad about not having power within my old church. I don’t want power. Games disgust me. I say what I think regardless of whether it will gain me standing. I positioned my life to be able to make a living without having to play games. I want all people (regardless of relation to the church) to be free from oppression—church oppression. I was free to play my role if I did not question too much. To be faithful, the ‘role’ is to obey, shut up, send money.

50:40 ‘Listen as they tell their story’? Who are you kidding? (This smacks a bit Timmish.) What do we get constantly on FoxNews? Invasion at the border, right? Fear brown people. Fear queer people. Fear liberals who hate God and want to destroy the country. That is the Christian culture Matt. Sam Perry, sociologist, categorizes the level of involvement in the program of Christian Nationalism as ambassadors, accommodators, resistors, and rejectors. 75% of evangelicals surveyed are in the first two categories. Resistor is what I was, rejector is what I am now. The strength of these nationalistic convictions is concentrating and radicalizing the evangelical church as the resisters lose hope and leave to become ex-vangelicals. There is nothing in your sermon which even remotely addresses this reality.

I know from experience that certain topics are not okay to bring up with an evangelical. There are expectations, rules, because that which threatens our existence as good people is ever present. This is embedded in our everyday language—we don’t understand how to listen to things which are foreign to our list of ‘acceptable’ sins. We can talk about things like adultery, divorce, drinking, and anger issues because those are the kinds of things we do (and hence accept.) But things which lie outside of the conservative, straight, white, heterosexual context? Nope. Our culture is saturated with violent spiritual warfare rhetoric concerning those who seek to destroy the ‘purity’ of the nation. The empire of Focus on the Family has embedded racist coded phrases like ‘welfare queens’ into our brains. (The ‘beauty’ of Trump was that he would say the quiet parts out loud to our garish delight.)

Judgment, that which permeates all Christian thought, dominates. God helps those who help themselves—this is a very common Christian belief as it forms a basis for conservatism. Anyone who should dare question the Dobsonian claims concerning a woman’s true place or say that it is abusive to teach that the fate of the nation lies in the sexual purity of young, female bodies is an enemy of God’s plan. Dare say the faithful should abide hearing a story of someone deeply wounded by purity culture, or by the constant anxiety generated by all the ‘Left Behind’ bullshit. What about being confronted with the doctrine of eternal conscious torment? Heaven forbids they be theologically literate about Christian history and conversant in the various theories of the atonement. People get defensive when they are epistemologically threatened. Better to just stick with the expectations of Christian appearance and defend the indefensible.  

Continuing the listening to them theme, people, for another example, are unlikely to reveal to an evangelical about how they got diddled by a religious authority figure. If they did, the walls would go up in a micro-second about how the perpetrator was not really a Christian. After all Matt, you were very clear to inform the people, reiterating several times, that, ‘Without Christ, our hearts are desperately wicked.’ (A clear supremacist message by the way which would be affirmed by the faithful as God’s Truth, like it or not, in an instant. Although where the bar of ‘acceptability’ in terms of wickedness is set is subject to endless debate hence then the constant anxiety for those whose consciences are a bit more fragile. This is an excellent control mechanism to be exploited by those who think very highly of themselves and their relationship with the Almighty. Name it and claim it, I suppose.) How does this facilitate the faithful’s listening to the stories of the wicked others? It doesn’t do that very well at all. Those ‘others’ must remain within our cultural wheelhouse, that is, not perceived to be threatening, and certainly not ‘icky,’ to be hearable.

I’ll go on… How should one hear the story about other kinds of abuse one suffered at hands of Christians? This is very common. It’s my story. I’ve ‘righteously’ hurt others using supremacist language and other pious bullshit. How could the faithful hear a story about those disillusioned by the corruption and cover-ups with the church? That is a common refrain I’ve heard from the ‘others.’ This is a relevant moral concern, yet they, without Christ, are desperately wicked? (Mix in a little Calvinist nonsense about ‘common grace’ perhaps?) How should the conservative faithful listen to someone who is ‘not us’ share stories about being hurt by racism? Deny, deny, deny. That would make us look bad. What about LGBTQ issues—the hurts, threats, fears, ridicule, insults, and assaults? Response? It is your own damn fault for being a traitor to nature. Right? If everyone is a minister and is, as such, speaking for God, then the denial of racism, the disgust for queer people, and just, plain gaslighting on a host of issues carries with it a measure of God’s authority. Do you really wonder why so many of the ‘lost’ do not want to hear anything from the people of God? Oh yeah, it’s just because ‘those people’ are wicked; ‘they don’t have the light of truth that we have.’

The culture of Christian Nationalism, which is thoroughly infused in the church, teaches people to not react well to the above conversations. Such conversations are a threat to Christian perceptions of how the world ought to be. Christian politics, fear, and cultivated anxiety conditions thoughts and actions towards fighting the culture war. The stories of those who do not share the conservative worldview threaten the sense of how loving evangelical Christians believe they are. Christians are cheering laws which seek to silence marginalized from talking about things which offend us. Clearly supremacist. Not listening. Not loving. The Christian posture separates. Listen to their stories? In our world, they must either conform to becoming us, or remain silent and unseen. That is what we collectively do to the marginalized through political force. We cheer it to ‘save America!’ (To reach the holy folk, even Trump must make claims that he can be a bigger asshole than DeSantis to remain relevant.) You would not dare to bring any inkling of these kinds of things up because your people would fire you in a heartbeat.

Tim, CentNaz’s interim pastor, an apt example of a total asshat, claimed that he loved to talk with ’10 out of 10’ difficult people concerning the faith. I don’t believe him. Right off, he made it clear in a sermon how he handled having his authority questioned; message sent, ‘don’t cross me.’ This even pissed my wife off; a feat since she is much more charitable than I am. Well, I crossed him anyway and he was not happy. He even preached a sermon about people finding faults and ‘sniffing armpits’ (looking right at me as I scowled right back. Fuck you, Tim.) He made the claim that what the Bible teaches is clear. It is anything but clear. What he was really saying was, ‘I am the authority; what I say the Bible says is what the Bible says.’ One authoritarian asshole coming through I could abide, but the people of the church seemed to love what that asshole had to say. Since Tim made it clear that he was into the culture war, political activism and what not, it became abundantly clear that I did not share the same values with the people I’d been with for 20 years. I was nothing but a thorn.

The reason I bring all this up is that the religion which supposes itself to be international and cross-cultural, is not—at least not in the United States. Tim’s epistemology was not threatened by me at all, but his authority sure was. He is a common example—I’ve crossed these kinds of people my whole life. I remember how I used to talk when I was ‘in-the-club’ and I am so sorry to all those I hurt. As an apologetics expert I had the ‘answers.’ I believed—until the depravity of evangelicalism made itself abundantly clear to me. What I thought was love, wasn’t. What I thought was grace, wasn’t. Now I must forgive myself and find a new path.

There are good evangelical people who probably have enough charity in their hearts to have a cross-cultural conversation, but they are not the ones who are going to be spurred on by a mention in a sermon to listen to the stories of others. They are already doing it while keeping it on the down-low that they are either not ‘all in’ on the Christian Nationalism thing or do not understand what it is and the extent of nationalism’s power and influence. These ‘resisters’ increasingly are heading out of the evangelical church as they are losing hope. The ex-vangelicals are waking up to meet almost instant disapproval in polite company, those conversations which threaten ‘Christian’ authority and/or epistemology. Without confronting the supremacy, the bigotry, the fear, the anxiety, the lies, the conspiracies, the hatred, the authoritarianism, the arrogance, the xenophobia, etc., contained within Christian Nationalism then the appeals to listen to the stories of others will only achieve the same results as it had in the past—concentration and radicalization. How to confront all this while keeping the peace? Beats me. All I know is that I’m not going to shut up.

Few are going to mention, let alone confront, that which roams about in conversations, radio programs, Podcasts, sermons, FoxNews, InfoWars, Facebook, Christian music, etc., to mold the anxious Christian mind for even more fear and exploitation. Who is for sin? Culture war stuff is a multi-Billion-dollar industry. Pretending the culture war itself does not injure people (Fact: it kills lots of people) by inspiring verbal and physical violence is, in my world, depraved. The culture warrior believes the violence is justified. By not confronting all the various things concerning human interactions listed above, I see the matter of remaining silent as being an endorsement of the current state of lies, conspiracies, and exploitation which, as a demonstrably practical matter, lead to more violence. No worries—all that is justifiable to save the world for Jesus. After all, all we need is Jesus. Say the sinner’s prayer. Use the right vocabulary. Believe the right things. Support the right causes. All of this follows because we’ve found Jesus. Jesus fixes everything. True belief, healing, and good conduct follow. The ‘Prince of Peace’ is ‘all in’ for discrimination, cruelty, and violence as such things will eventually fix things to the degree that Jesus can then come back and have mercy on whom he has mercy. So, get on board so Jesus’ Dad doesn’t burn you in hell forever. Better to be an asshole than in agony.

51:08 How has God shaped me? Well, let me see here…Let me tell my story. Violent childhood. Endured physical, sexual, emotional, and spiritual abuse. I have no idea how many times I was whipped, degraded, and screamed at. The Bible was weaponized against me. Lots of guilt and shame. Terrified of going to hell. Raised on ‘Thief in the Night.’ Time, and again, bouts of terror that I’d missed the rapture when someone wasn’t where they were supposed to be. My grandfather was a great counter to all this crap, he was always good to me; I wouldn’t have made it without him. Tried to kick God out of the universe because the young me thought that most adult Christians (other than my grandfather) are assholes. Said and did anything to get into as many female shorts as I could—hence, I was an asshole. Didn’t really understand anything much about sacrificial love until I met a woman I eventually fell in love with. She was deeply broken like me. Although we began the relationship for the wrong reasons, I came to see her as a human being as she eventually revealed her hurt to me. It rocked my world, a woman seen as my equal, both in great pain. She ended up breaking my heart. Because of all the damage we did to each other in the early part of our relationship, and as we both grew personally (and I was trying to get my career started and hence was working a lot) she came to realize that it was not going to work. Splitsville. I sincerely hope she is having a good life.

Due to my lack of success in becoming an atheist, the fear of hell still dominated my heart and mind and so I came to the sinner’s prayer, and (due to all the religious trauma) again and again, countless times. I started to feel guilty about all the people I had hurt. God’s judgement fell upon me time and again. The language of grace was there but what I didn’t understand until decades later crippled the message. I studied apologetics and theology trying to make sense of what I mistakenly thought was the only game in town for avoiding the fires of hell. I had no idea the depth of the teaching’s cruelty. In all this, I was also desperate to be loved but resolved myself to rise above the priority of just getting laid. I tried not to let my desperation screw up my next relationship. The next woman I became intimate with was my beautiful wife to whom I’ve been married almost 30 years. She is God’s gift to me.

 She taught me what love is. She stood beside me as I processed my trauma. And I did the same for her. That’s what love is. It’s not judgement, or fear of rejection, or punishment, or shaming—it’s walking beside. Christians tell these kinds of stories, but the foundations all descend to judgment and punishment. I adore my wife. I wanted to be a better man for her and our children, yet as much as I tried to be that man I still said and did things I am not proud of. A good number of these things stemmed from what I was taught that good Christian men should do. Yet, I must give myself grace because my intentions were good even though I was doing harm. I can honestly say that I didn’t come anywhere close to passing on to my children what my parents did to me—and for that I am proud.

Jesus doesn’t fix anything (but I hope that he walks beside.) For decades I studied theology and apologetics trying to shoehorn the Bible into the evangelical model. But all I was reading were evangelical texts. Little, if anything, fit. I’d been saying for years that American Christianity seemed much more American than it did Christian, but I didn’t appreciate the depth of that depravity until the Christians threw their enthusiastic support behind Trump to save America. I could no longer try to trick myself into believing (evangelical) Christianity was about helping people—it is primarily about exploitation and power. All couched in bullshit language about caring for people. It’s a sham.

I was working tons of overtime to put my daughter through law school; that was my priority which greatly slowed down my actual exit from the church. I still hoped that perhaps when given the opportunity I could talk people out of the depravity of Christian Nationalism. But as I became more and more ‘liberal’ the less and less persuasive I became. Then there was Tim. Then we all worshipped the flag in the sanctuary to honor the veterans. I walked out. After that, my wife relented and did not fight to keep my coming to that church. Hello freedom.

It is remarkable how happy I’ve become once I let all that go. So how did God shape me into what I am today? If you suppose that the evangelical is the cat’s meow to introduce people to the Jesus that fixes everything, that evangelicalism is the proper expression for worshipping and honoring God then it seems a demon got a hold of me (which has been openly said) to pull me away from obedience to God. Once saved, always saved? Nobody really believes that. I still meet with and run into people from the church—I positively assume they are sad about me leaving but no one so far has asked me why. I had to demand a letter of release and an exit interview. Since I was someone always questioning this, that, or the other thing, am I free to assume there was some relief in the departure of a troublemaker? Do they suppose I’m lost? Regard me a selfish sinner who is not a team player? I can only speculate.

I still believe in God, but I don’t believe in the evangelical church because I firmly believe it does more harm than good—even a relatively tame church like Centralia Nazarene. It does more harm than good because of all the simply screwed up beliefs and practices which float around in the evangelical universe—things the local church couldn’t immunize itself against even if they were aware of such things and wanted to confront them. A plethora of harmful teachings are simply baked into the culture. Far from abandoning God, I’m reading works from liberal theologians, black theologians, theologians who are commonly regarded as heretics, along with sociologists, secular scholars of religion, psychiatrists, to see an entirely different world in which God is not an asshole—I don’t have to defend the doctrine of eternal conscious torment, the Canaanite Invasion, or that God who just flips out every now and then to kill a bunch of people. If it was a ‘demon’ (I doubt it) who steered me into this belief, I would thank him. If it was God, I would thank whoever and whatever he, she, they, or it is.

Thankfully I no longer must believe the Bible is literally true. The whole ‘literal’ shtick was always pick and choose anyway—there was no way to make sense of it anyway otherwise. We make the God we want; fundamentalists do this despite their protestations to the contrary—they propose a God who clearly plays favorites. I (the heretic) want(s) a God who has love for everyone, not just the chosen few. I want a God who does not need to kill or torture anyone—including His Son. Heresy, I know. I want a God who would not design a system of thought which fills its adherents with fear and anxiety while claiming to be the solution to the same. Men did that. I want a God who considers all people, I mean everyone, as equally being the children of the divine. Although the fear of hell was so fully inculcated into me at a young age, despite all the doctrines surrounding the sadistic teaching which don’t make a lick of sense, it is hard to suppose enjoying my eternity with an personal entity who must burn people I love for that eternity because they didn’t do, believe, or say the right things to be freed from the wickedness which seals that fate. (Yes, I am familiar with the basic theories of atonement. I’ve considered the various arguments concerning how the ‘get out of hell free’ card is issued.) I imagine I could say, ‘well, this thoroughly sucks, but it is better than burning myself’; or I could be transformed into righteously thinking they fully deserve that fate to then skip happily along on the golden streets of heaven. The more I thought about it, the more twisted and sicker the doctrine appears to me. If this makes me wicked in your eyes, so be it. I don’t worry about the authorities anymore because I truly and honestly believe the common doctrines espoused by evangelicalism are not true. Thank God.

Salvation lies not in espousing certain ‘correct’ beliefs whipped up by some men who have serious control and vengeance issues. Our limited nature makes reliance on correct epistemology fraught with peril. I spent decades trying to get it right—turns out I was barking up the wrong tree. Thank you, Peter Enns and Obery Hendricks! Apologetics is mostly bullshit. Still wavering between annihilationism and universal reconciliation but even if I should be heading to oblivion, I am grateful for my life now. I still give daily thanks to God for wife, daughters, friends, health, wealth, life, and love. I hang around with liberal Christians, those the culture warriors see as traitors to the faith, hoping that I meet a different Jesus than what the evangelicals pitched to me. The rainbow flag is that which truly says all are welcome. I’m sorrowful for what I used to believe and say. I take the elements of communion with them. I find meaning in the solidarity of responsive prayer, and in the ceremonies demonstrating gratitude and awe. I want to believe.

I have a lot to unpack still, but that’s my story. I’m deeply wounded through years of religious abuse. I’ve clearly said some things which make me a heretic whom John Calvin would have burned to righteously defend the faith—as he did to Michael Servetus. I doubt anyone from my old haunt would care to engage—too much of a threat. There are millions of people just like me who’ve been deeply wounded by Christians and the church. There are millions of others who just by observing in general all the trauma religion generates leads them to conclude such a thing couldn’t be from God, hence they don’t believe. I recommend not trying to convince your targets that those hurtful people weren’t true Christians. I’ve heard this many times; doing this is very condescending and disingenuous. The evangelical theological system itself is rotten, it hurts and sours good people by teaching people to say and do very hurtful things in the name of God.  I do not wish you all success.

51:40 ‘Because we have the power of God’? It’s not love we’re talking about here. Do you not think about how Christians commonly connect the power of God with political power? It is an ugly fact. This is a fine example of how the theology of power which come out of Christian Nationalism (and the prosperity gospel which richly fertilized the soil in which Christian nationalism grew) permeates our everyday thought and language. Evangelicals, I believe, arrogantly appropriate the power of God for themselves much like they’ve appropriated the stars and stripes, and various Jewish sacred objects, to suit their own purposes. The practical result of doing this creates a serious separation between human beings. But that is what holiness basically is, right? Christians are supposed to listen to the ‘lost’s’ stories so that a proposal can hopefully be made to the prospect that ‘the power of God’ could be bestowed on the prospect to fix the problems which cause the suffering. Thanks to the prosperity gospel, faithful Christians promise power in exchange for faith. Never mind all the charlatans who rip people off by promising the ‘power of God’ to heal them from x, y, or z. Never mind all the failed prophecies given by means of the ‘power of God’ that this, that, or the other thing was going to happen—but didn’t. It is a demonstrably false gospel in its most obvious form, but ‘softer’ evangelicals pitch a more palatable, watered-down version to people hoping to escape their suffering. Scientific approach to easing suffering is often poo-pooed—and in more extreme (yet common) cases, we’re not just talking about therapy and psychiatry here but vaccines and masks in the face of an epidemic which killed millions! Don’t you believe in the ‘power of God!’ ‘This is a matter of our basic freedoms!’ I simply do not believe that when humans appropriate the ‘power of God’ for themselves that God just relents and lets them use that power in whatever manner the human sees fit. What Would Jesus Do? Right?

Furthermore, suppose someone does convert to claim that power for healing x, y, or z. What if, after much prayer and godly counseling, that person does not heal? Who’s to blame? In cases of PTSD for example, the various brain waves from different areas of those who suffer this do not flow in sync with one another as they do in a non-traumatize person. They are literally not of one mind. There was a whole series of electro-chemical changes which happened because of stress which led to their current suffering. That is why they can be easily triggered into a flight or fight response. They need serious medical help but due to our ‘will over matter,’ ‘power of God’ stuff how many of these people forego treatment to pray their way out of it? I shudder to think of how many dead people I saw throughout my career who had killed themselves could have been saved if they’d been offered the scientific help they needed.

A little bit of advice Christian… quit offering people power. Power corrupts. To the extent the church helps people, it is because of the experience of solidarity, community, and love. Power is disconnected. Love is connected. Offer all people love without judgement or expectation. Love them enough to wear a mask or take a vaccine to protect them. With all the vitriol about ‘freedom,’ Christians have shown the world their love of others. Fuck ‘em—it’s about MY FREEDOM. Oh yeah, and how ‘bout, ‘Don’t spread lies which literally kill people’? Oh, don’t worry, you did your own research (from shit that emerged from 4-chan or from Trump’s sack-of-shit, lying face?) How about, ‘listen to people’s hurts even if it hurts you?’ You know, even if you are offended—even if you believe it is not holy? How about being open to admitting fault when you’re shown to be wrong? Oh, no, no, no… ‘We speak for God. How could we be wrong?’ Can Christians be willing to hear histories they don’t like—even ones that make the white race look less like the noble saviors of the rest of humanity? I do not believe they are willing. Will Christians jettison their fear of the others? Again, no. They will reward the ever-indignant Tucker Carlson for telling them exactly what they want to hear. (Going into this would require a discussion of Rene’ Girard’s mimetic theory and the scapegoat mechanism. Some other time.) The others are a threat to the purity of this nation. They dilute the pure message with ‘wokism,’ you know, demonic liberalism. The comforting echo chambers are well established. The church firmly believes it is righteous in its mission. I do not hold hope that the evangelical church is ever going to agree with anything other than seeking ever more power. This will continue until it is a smoking heap of ash. Ever read the Old Testament?

52:00 ‘Let God do His part’? Continuing on the power theme… What is God’s part in terms of the evangelical program of healing, restoration, and salvation? Does God force his will or not? Prevenient grace? Softer. This is related to a phenomenon that has always bothered me, ‘God told me such and such’; or even better, ‘God told me to tell you such and such.’ Really? Damn you’re important. So, you’ve listened, maybe said a few kind words to whoever needs the power of God we possess. Okay, now we’ll just step back and let God do his thing. What? Shall we suppose that since we the dispensers of God’s power and we ran into a hurting person whom we spent a little time with, that God will now move into that person’s life? Either you believe in irresistible grace, or you don’t. The practical effect of this teaching gives people space, which is a good thing. But, the big but, God, according to Wesleyan doctrine, does not force irresistible grace upon anyone. Nor, as it says in scripture, which Nazarenes generally accept as infallible (in their original forms of course,) God does not show favoritism. It also says in scripture that Christians are the hands of God, meaning, metaphorically, that lost people will come to know the love of God through Christian practical expressions of love for the lost. (Er…, to be clearer, personal expressions of loving action is what the Bible seems to teach in places about witnessing, but that’s not what Christian Nationalism teaches the faithful about how to save the planet through the ‘loving’ expressions of power to regulate the wicked—to God’s Glory, of course. There is direct conflict here which must be diverted and/or ignored.) So, as I understand the matter, according to your own scriptures, the faithful Christian should be both wise and generous in expressing love and charity to others without backing off too far. The inclination towards the appropriation of God’s power changes this dynamic. Just pray and release the power. All then will work itself out. Convenient.

I happen to believe that whatever religion you hold, atheist or whatever, all people are capable of love, compassion, charity, honesty, whatever. I, along with Roger Williams 300 or so years ago (who got kicked of Puritan society for saying this,) believe that pagans, non-white and otherwise, often have better moral codes than white Christians do. I think this is because of the corruption due to the white Christian’s sense of superiority, and its acquisition of political (and military) power. Today we have all kinds of self-proclaimed prophets and apostles running about jabbering about how we all are about to see God do his thing while whipping up Jericho marches filled with knuckleheads blowing shofars and flying flags. January 6th, and all that surrounded that lovely little show of violent rage led by Christians, was supposed to result in a ‘mighty wind of revival’ blowing across the nation. It didn’t. Millions of us are absolutely disgusted by Christian behavior. What a wonderful witness to love that was, wasn’t it? In fear of this falling away (instead of the promised revival) the church again doubles-down, denies, diverts, projects, concentrates and radicalizes. Trump was anointed by God, Christians have been told, therefore opposing Trump is opposing God. Eventually the prophets and apostles get together to figure out how to convince Christians that God changed his mind—DeSantis Yeah! There is powerful mass psychology at work here. Anxious people want assurance. Disappointed people want revenge. Nobody wants to admit they’re wrong. Few within evangelical circles are willing to talk about not only what went wrong with that grasp for power, but the immorality of such a grasp, for fear of being excommunicated. Community is powerful. The few who did were fired. According to the apostles, the story goes, Christians just didn’t generate enough power to accomplish God’s Will—this is why the demonic forces carried the day. Next time, keep the faith slackers!

Human reliance upon power brings lies, violence, and rebellion. If you Christians really wanted a positive revival, then abandon the quest for power and start loving people. Pastors start teaching people to let go of their power, and all the nonsense, the conspiracies, the lies. Then perhaps God, whom your scriptures say is love, can then truly do his thing. (But, oh, yeah, pastors, ah, you’d lose your jobs…)

53: 45. ‘Are you in?’ No. One of the Podcasts I listen to are The New Evangelicals. Tim, I like this Tim, used to be drummer for an evangelical church. Tim started questioning the morality Christian Nationalism and the church’s enthusiastic support for a dirt-bag; so, he started a Podcast and started openly questioning things. As it gained traction and the church took notice, Tim was told by leadership, ‘Are you in? Either you stop what you’re doing, or you can’t work for us anymore.’ Tim followed his conscience and quit working for the church.

‘Are you in?’ is a loaded statement; it is more than a simple question. Did not Jesus say something to the effect, ‘those who deny me before men, I will deny before my father’? Since the church acts as the intermediary between God and man, if you are ‘not in’ with the stated mission to save the lost then perhaps your eternal destiny could be imperiled by your refusal to acquiesce? ‘Are you in’ is a call to obedience to follow the church’s program. I understand that’s how groups work, and things get done. But life, people, relationships are far more complicated than something like a football game which has clearly defined rules, goals, and limits. Am I in for using political power to accomplish Christian goals? I know you are not directly saying this here but it is implied since it is what the evangelical church supports in general, so again, no. Am I in for believing the supremist doctrine that, ‘without Christ, our hearts are desperately wicked’? Along with all the other things I wrote about above, a big hearty no. You don’t get to have my loyalty anymore.

54:18 ‘Learn…’ Yep. But not too much so that you’ll start questioning.

54:38 ‘Go… Serve.’ Depends what you mean by serve…

55:09 ‘Give….’ Not to what I think hurts people. ‘Unstoppable vision…’ I hope not.

58:30 ‘Strip out the selfishness.’ Here is how I see that statement… The evangelical political/religious coupling is selfish to its core—to maintain a sense of comfort, safety, supremacy. What is being said here is to fully affirm (‘Are you in?’) how the church is doing its business to save your neighbor, America, and by extension the world, for God. If you fail to support how we do business with your time and money, or even question how we are doing ‘God’s work,’ then you are selfish.

59:00 If God himself has shaped what the evangelical church is then God is an asshole. I don’t believe that I’m calling God himself an asshole here because I believe that it was (and is) men who believed they represent God who shaped the church. There is a big difference there which church leaders conveniently conflate to their own benefit. Decent, loving people within the church exist in large numbers but they are being abused and misled by a corrupt system devised by authoritarians.

59+ ‘We have the answers’? ‘Are you in?’ Mold me, shape me, use me. I give my life into the potter’s hands. (I used to be moved by that song.) Have a role to play? You know I still would like to be of use to the Almighty? You know I still desire that? Why? I have had good, lasting relationships with people in the church. I miss the community. But I had to look behind the curtain. I had to study and ask questions to find all the games and cover-ups. Question all the bullshit like, ‘the Spirit is telling me right now…’ It’s just a power play disguised as piety to get people to do what you want. All the corruption. All the lies. All the theology that is harmful and oppressive. The quest for power over others… I don’t see love in this.

Answers to what? What are the questions? How to be free? From what? The wrath of God? The fires of hell? Few people are going to read this, but I have this to say to you—the evangelical church is an enormous weight. If you want to be free, leave. It’s on my top ten list of the best things I ever did.

Find love. Find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Someone who does not play games, is willing to question, challenge, and explore. I believe God is both out there and right here. Although we try, we don’t get to define who God is. I find comfort in that because men can be terrifying, oppressive, and cruel to each other; the gods they define reflect this. I believe God just is. And I hope that one day when my body assumes room temperature, my spirit (if God wills it) will find something akin to sharing a lovely meal on a warm, spring day in the company of my beloved. Love is heaven.

Oppressive Teaching

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1: 2-4

It is common for the Evangelical to hold the belief that suffering ultimately works to benefit the believer as the above excerpt from James exemplifies. As it also common to believe that a good part of this suffering comes as a result of faith in Christ (2 Timothy 3: 12.) This has led to the common martyr complex exhibited by many American Christians today which supposes the satanic, woke, leftist culture is what oppresses the average Christian. This myth persists giving sanction for the current political imperative for Christians to ‘take back’ the United States for God. Evangelical teaching, having come out of a long tradition of maintaining the institution of white supremacy (justifying hierarchy and segregation for economic gain and political stability,) has built a system of thought to protect the money-making institution (the church) itself by convincing the faithful that their suffering is the result of wicked people outside the church. Poppycock. The church itself is the oppressor. Here is my case…   

To be human means we must face suffering. The ever-present question remains in how to morally face (and combat) suffering in ourselves and others. We categorize and separate, scapegoat, blame, shift, obfuscate, and divert the sources, relations, and domains of our suffering in attempts to avoid the pain and to save face. Politically, we can shift the blame towards the ‘others.’ Either directly or indirectly, we point the finger at brown people coming over the border, it’s those homosexuals, it’s in our tolerance of abortion, which brings ‘God’s Wrath’ to rain down upon our country. Really? Is that why we suffer? As I’ve heard in sermon after sermon, the not-so-faithful suffer for a myriad of different reasons which can be broadly summarized in not being faithful enough to God (i.e. what the church teaches about what God wants from us.) The church has built a system for explaining the suffering of those who support the church; either it blames the external wicked, satanic culture, the victim of abuse, or God Himself. The system of authoritarian hierarchy itself helps make this possible. The evangelical church will not examine itself—it’s descent into depravity is too far along.

I’ll say it again, I don’t (that is, no longer) believe God is an asshole. As well-meaning as it all well may be to the naive, evangelical teaching makes God out to be an asshole. Pure and simple. All the teaching about joy, suffering, and forgiveness masks and defers confronting the actual human evils, including what the ‘righteous’ teach and do themselves, which lead to suffering. How could the behavior of homosexuals whom you’ve never met have any relation to your suffering? Evangelicals do this because it’s easy. How many times have we heard high profile evangelical teachers talking about hurricanes, earthquakes, terrorist attacks, economic downturns, and even declining SAT scores as God’s curse upon us for tolerating things like abortion and homosexuality? Hundreds? Thousands? For another example, the ‘Focus on the Family,’ purity culture teaching additionally places the fate of the nation upon the ‘purity’ of adolescent female bodies. I grieve this because I know people who have gravely hurt by this lie. I’ve forwarded this stuff personally because I honestly believed that is what good men do. I’m so ashamed I didn’t see through this sooner. People in the church have been shocked to hear that I would now speak against the beloved, ‘godly’ wisdom of Dr. James Dobson. (I was raised on the teachings of that man. Dobson worked under the eugenicist Paul Popenoe. Yep. Dobson just did a better job camouflaging the ‘fact’ that we need more submissive, properly ordered women to pump out more white babies.)  How can such a powerful, hence blessed, and beloved ‘Christian’ industry be wrong about something so obvious and fundamental? Because we’ve been taught Dobson’s advice is ‘biblical’ and the evangelical culture enforces this belief. I remain the heretic for believing the ‘Focus on the Family’ stuff to be oppressive and evil. I cannot undo what I’ve done in parroting that shit. I can only try to change for the future.

(Did you know Russian conservative social scientists, not the religious leaders, adopted Dobson’s rhetoric as a means of convincing Russian [white] women [who had been taking advantage of newfound freedoms] that it was their obligation to be submissive baby factories? The Handmaid’s Tale is not that far off the reality of the length these people would go to ‘save’ us.)

Looking at the specks in every else’s eye, somebody must take the blame for our ‘decline;’ besides LGBTQ people and abortions, why not place the burden upon the weakness of teen girls to fend off the ‘Wild at Heart’ boys as well? We do and believe it’s biblical to maintain old ideas where women in general had little to no standing or rights. As I’ve heard in sermon after sermon, from one parishioner after another, we divert the causes of our suffering upon ethereal notions of ‘God’s Wrath’ upon the toleration of the ‘other’s sin;’ the blame descends even upon your own young women. The fact that you all believe God punishes the nation because you all do not adequately thump on (punish and shame) the vulnerable tells me you all believe God is an asshole. I’m guilty too.

Has there been much talk from within the church about its own toleration of spiritual and sexual abuse, its active coverups of those crimes to maintain appearances, its toleration of lies in its pursuit of power? Not much that I’ve seen. Check out Wartburgwatch.com, the corruption in the church is massive. Those who do dare to question are ostracized as the problem. In addition to fostering a stable of largely silenced victims for sexual exploitation, the evangelical church is also completely submerged in a sea of lies to conceal its supremacist roots by gaslighting all attempts at revealing systemic racism. The church has concocted a theology of appearances. Its leaders either spout lies and hatred of the ‘others’ like Greg Locke and the like, or in milquetoast fashion, act as if there is nothing wrong.

People like Greg Locke are just plain assholes. People who follow leaders like Greg Locke are honest and bold enough to be the open and honest assholes they are. Bravo. Thank you for at least being open about it. Where it gets hazy is trying to determine if those pastors who pretend that there is nothing seriously wrong in the church by just continuing ‘business as usual’ are active concealers of the problem (a form of the word-of-the-year gaslighting,) or are truly innocent of the fact that the church has institutionalized systematic abuse and the obfuscation of the truth. It’s hard to tell. I was fooled for decades. Damn I feel stupid. Do I give those pastors who act like there is nothing wrong a break? After all, we are all subject to ‘truth’ formed through hundreds of years of conditioning to protect the institution itself, its power structures, and money flow. Let’s dig a little into the practical affect common Christian teaching and/or aphorisms has upon the psyches, beliefs, and practices among the faithful.

Forgiveness is a Christian absolute. In a recent sermon about the ‘Lordship of Christ,’ absolute obedience to that Lordship, substitute the church in as Christ’s surrogate, is imperative. Since Jesus Himself is not standing in front of us, the church practically acts as the authority. There is no practical way out of this since the church functions as an authoritarian structure which assumes to speak for Christ. Evil men and women, looking to make a buck, looking to molest and subjugate, are offered a culture in which the victims are endlessly admonished by ‘God’ to forgive whatever abuse they suffer. And if they don’t, heaven forbid, they will not be forgiven themselves. How often will it be their fault, an offense against ‘God,’ if they should sully the image of church should they reveal and/or confront the abuse openly? Very often. The abused are called to abide, forgive, and give 10% of their income to the ‘Lordship of Christ’ to keep supporting the institution of abuse.

Various coping mechanisms must be developed to maintain the facade. I recently heard a heartbreaking ‘testimony’ which revealed a long list of hurt and betrayals, being lied to, but that it ultimately led to the blessing of being where they are now. (As if they won’t get fucked again where they are now.) In evangelical theology, ‘everything happens for a reason.’ This puts God on the hook; again, God is an asshole. All the hurts dealt by the church, and all the hurts delivered by the ‘holier-than-thou’ men are given by God for the ultimate benefit of those so abused. Delicious, isn’t it? This institutional cannibalism will not change until it is seriously challenged.

Moreover, evangelicals teach that the experience of joy is not circumstantial. Again, how convenient for those in the power structure to abuse those under their charge? This mechanism is akin to and bolstered by the massive ‘health and wealth’ industry which supposes if you are not personally healthy and wealthy then your ‘faith’ must be lacking—there is something wrong with you and your relationship with God. It poisons everything. Likewise, the faithful are expected to feel joy, which is supposedly non-circumstantial and is a ‘fruit of the spirit’ (Galatians 5:22,) no matter what they may be experiencing. If you don’t feel ‘joy,’ there is something wrong with you and your relationship with God. Thus, the well-meaning appeal to joy acts as a command to feel joy no matter what. This acts as a mechanism to suppress confronting real evils and abuse within the church. And so, abuse flourishes and is protected.

In ejecting evangelical theology, I’ve never been happier.  I no longer, honestly, believe God is an asshole. All the man-made inventions which turned Him into one are falling away. The dysfunctional appeals to joy under the uncertainty of being in ‘right relationship’ with God have given way to relaxation and acceptance of my uncertain state in the universe. The evangelical formula for salvation doesn’t make any biblical sense anyway. Such a formulation, typified in the sinner’s prayer, is self-centered as it serves as a protective spell against the threat of eternal conscious torment. Hence, faith de-centers. If I face oblivion, so be it. Although there will be no me to be thankful then (whenever and whatever then is,) I will be thankful now for my life now. I simply do not believe the church’s threat of eternal conscious torment to obey its dictates to hence endure its abusive teaching on everything else.

Forgiveness is not something to be demanded. Forgiveness is not absolute. Those evangelicals who would argue with me on this point, I would point to the evangelical doctrine of eternal conscious torment—God doesn’t forgive them (and perhaps me) to painfully suffer His hatred forever for offending Him. God thus forever becomes the vindictive victim.

Forgiveness is much more dynamic than that. With evangelical teaching as forgiveness becoming an absolute, the onus for ‘fixing’ a separation of relationship due to an offense lies upon the victim. I agree that I cannot ‘work’ my way to heaven—no argument there. Such an approach to works would be self-centered anyway. I’ve done things to hurt people, I’m sorry, but it is done and there is nothing I can do to change that. There is no formula to ‘fix’ any wrong which has already been done. That is the law of action in the flow of time. So, in an absolute sense there is no absolution. My offenses may be forgiven but I have no right to demand that they be. If the faithful are, in effect, commanded to forgive unconditionally then the predators, the abusers, those who do not count the little people as being fully human worthy of equal consideration, are given the freedom to act without a check upon their abuses. This is fundamentally evil and is the environment evangelicalism currently offers.

A healthier, more balanced approach to forgiveness is that if one is truly penitent, he or she would not appeal to the supposed universal demand for forgiveness to be let off the hook. The offender would, in a better world, desire to alleviate the suffering of the person offended but would not want to add to that suffering with any demands for forgiveness or even the acceptance of their own presence if that should add to the hurt. Expressing sorrow could be cathartic to the victim but if such sorrow is indeed taken to be genuine it must be given and accepted in an atmosphere of freedom. The command to offer absolute forgiveness under threat destroys the environment of freedom so that true healing can occur. Force, fear, and threat destroy love. Yet the evangelical views the call to absolute forgiveness to be the very essence of expressed love; in this we have a major disagreement.

If the penitent one is truly sorry, in the circumstances of victim’s refusal to acknowledge the offender’s apology, the penitent’s obligations regardless of acceptance ought to shift towards the whole human race to do the work required to not offend/hurt others in the future. That is all we can do. This better leads to equality amongst humans who harm each other. Peace can only come through equality and equal recognition, else there is only subjugation, submission, and oppression. Forgiveness then can be freely given, without coercion, as there would be no force of threat to punishment by the ultimate authority in the universe if one should fail to yield to their supposed obligation. Abusers would no longer have the freedom to do as they do and be let off the hook; it would be their choice to yield to the dignity and humanity of others—or to not.

Likewise, with the typical evangelical teaching to experience joy as a fruit of the spirit, the faithful adherence to command to joy is not free to experience the full range of human emotions which naturally come in response to care, solidarity, or abuse. As it stands now, citing case after case, the victims of those higher up the chain of authority are commanded to feel joy no matter what is being done to them. This is sick and alienating. Did your pastor, husband, father, mother do something awful to you? Why can’t you be more forgiving? I’ve heard this time, after time, after time. The parishioners themselves will tear into and shame into submission anyone who would dare make an accusation against a beloved holy figure. It happens all the time. In evangelical thought as practically applied, forgiveness functions within, and according to, the chain of hierarchy. As a personal example, the one who hurt me the most is higher up the chain of authority and has made it abundantly clear that she has no obligation to acknowledge the ways in which she gravely hurt me and my children. On the contrary, the command to forgiveness has been weaponized against me, under threat of eternal damnation by God Himself, that I should bend the knee to beg her forgiveness for not meeting my obligations as a son—to endure ongoing belittlement and shaming which in her twisted mind would lead to my betterment (and salvation) if would just submit. For decades I lived under this threat, of not submitting adequately to God’s command, as it served as a platform for decades of abuse. Brainwashed, I honestly thought that God was an asshole who required that I forgive whatever abuses I suffered through the words and actions of mom. I’ve now lived 5 free years away from her by rejecting that fucked up evangelical teaching. This is yet another reason why I’ve never been happier.

The universal and absolute call to joy and forgiveness says little, if nothing, of alleviating suffering. Rather, the teaching serves up a fatalistic command to accept suffering and be happy about it. Your kid has cancer? It’s not really a tragedy, it is ultimately a gift from God for everyone’s benefit. Again, God is implicated as an asshole which then must be covered for. Steven Pinker wrote a book, Better Angels of our Nature, which compiles hundreds of years of data to dispel the myth of the ‘good ol’ days.’ He makes abundant case that despite whatever FoxNews says about crime and the ever-present ‘Crisis at the Border!’ things are progressively (an evil word, I know) getting more healthy, prosperous, and far less violent. (No thanks to the right-wing assholes openly calling for the violent overthrow of our government with no shame or fear of reprisal from the electorate.) The primary reason given for this significant advancement is the better treatment of children. Because children are named, cared for, and educated, and the ‘godly’ doctrine of beating the shit out of your kids because they are pissing you off (sanctify it all you want, but this is how it often practiced—as it was with me) are being increasing rejected, subsequent generations are becoming kinder, more accepting of difference, and are less violent. This is making a better world.

What makes a better world is not the acceptance of suffering, but the active quest to eliminate it. Kindness tends to beget kindness. Cruelty tends to beget cruelty, reprisal, or cowardice. The acceptance of suffering leads us to believe those less fortunate than us likely ought to remain in that condition for their own betterment—perhaps serving as an incentive for them to reach out to God. We would not have to then consider our role in the actual physical betterment of their situation lest we interfere with their spiritual development according to God’s will. This is where this teaching can and does lead towards the belief in (white Christian) supremacy. If we were to take the teaching of suffering leading to our betterment to its logical end, then indeed ‘that which does not kill me only makes me stronger.’  A cruel world would remain where only the strongest survive in a violent world of desperate scarcity as it has been for thousands of years. All the work of scientists, doctors, and engineers to grow more food, to produce more energy to fuel technological advancement, to develop vaccines, medicine, surgical techniques, and diagnostic machines would be stifled by the notion that God intends us to joyfully suffer for own betterment. We live in such a world where even the most ardent fundamentalist must cherry-pick the scriptures to deal with the dissonance created by our collective prosperity created by people trying to make a better world.

The cherry-picking to support the sorting process continues as unreflective evangelical teachers parrot the party line concerning joy and suffering. To end on a positive note, I believe it would be better to regard James’ (if it was indeed James, the brother of Jesus) teaching within its original context—advice to a community that did not have the social power to better its situation. That teaching is fatalistic and if taken as an absolute would leave little incentive to work towards making a better world for everyone. I’ll repeat, EVERYONE. Do not teach people to accept suffering. Teach them to work to overcome it. Teach people that it is okay, normal, rational, human to experience sadness, anger, indignation, grief in the face of suffering and abuse. Do not teach people to mask themselves lest they be regarded as being less-than-spiritually okay because they do not have joy—a fruit of the spirit. The common teaching concerning joy has led to the church being not only being the most segregated hour of the week but also the most masked. Teach them to seek justice, not some appearance of an emotion to save face.

Teach them that they are not obligated to automatically forgive. ALL PEOPLE, no matter the race, color, sex, preference, relation, ethnicity, abilities, religion, etc. are equal in every way no matter how we see their relation to God. There is no legitimate hierarchy of persons. Teach people to live this. This creates a culture in which justice is sought; appearances are not the concern. (Answer honestly, was Jesus concerned with appearances?) Predators would have a much harder time working their damage in such an environment where every human being was being actively protected regardless of how things may appear. Let everyone feel loved by offering that protection no matter what with no shame of sullying the name of the church should abuse occur and be revealed. Let air get to the wounds. It is about time we stop weaponizing joy and forgiveness.

Amen  

I mourn (despite the election results.)

What to me is the multitude of your sacrifices? says the LORD; I have had enough of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed beasts; I do not delight in the blood of bulls, or of lambs, or of goats. When you come to appear before me, who has required of you this trampling of my courts? Bring no more vain offerings; incense is an abomination to me. New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations— I cannot endure iniquity and solemn assembly. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hates; they have become a burden to me; I am weary of bearing them. When you spread out your hands, I will hide my eyes from you; even though you make many prayers, I will not listen; your hands are full of blood. Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your deeds from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause. Isaiah 1: 11-17

Today I mourn. A few days ago, I learned of yet another human being I know who was molested at church, which was, unsurprisingly, covered up. There is a lot to process. As I’ve said before, oftentimes the coverup is worse than the crime. On top of this recent discovery, a few weeks ago I was having another conversation with a friend in which I found out about another devout adherent, a relative of my friend, who did not stand up for her children who were molested by an evangelist (also a relative)—because that evangelist ‘saves many souls.’ They let that predator go on to diddle other kids, again, because he saves souls (until eventually the secular authorities caught him.) I suppose the number of souls he gains exceeds the number of those he molests—thus having a net gain so all is better overall, right? My friend is very angry about this, and I am both deeply saddened and enraged. All of this is horrifying, yet is so very, very common. This kind of toleration happens because of the way the church chooses to reveal itself to the world—our common response to the fundamental violation of human persons is baked into the theology of maintaining appearances. The victims are shamed into silence or blamed for the crime so that the masses, those who tithe faithfully, and submit to authority can frolic in an illusion of joy as such comfort is evidence of being in the center of God’s Will. This is so evil.

Pretending a problem doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away. Pretending evil isn’t among us doesn’t diminish the evil’s power over us but rather allows evil to spread and flourish. This is why I reacted so strongly against the claim, ‘Without Christ, our hearts are hearts are desperately wicked.’ What a crock. The church is broken. The church is anti-Christ as it talks (and sings) about our feelings, about ‘releasing our joy,’ about our love affair with Jesus, about our longing for Jesus to ‘Open up the Heavens’ to increase our bliss. With such a feelings-based ‘Jesus fixes everything’ assumption, communal wrestling with ethical matters and conduct is pushed ever further back into the ethereal realms as a matter God will handle. The argument in favor of this approach to ethical conduct and accountability cites the rejection of works-based salvation. This view is strongly epiphenomenal, that is, to use Thomas Huxley’s analogy, our lives are experienced much like a steam locomotive on tracks—we can observe and blow the whistle, but our direction and destination is predetermined. Thus, in short, ‘everything happens for a reason’ as God plans it. It is not that hard to imagine how such thinking could lead to the notion (and common refrain) that ‘Jesus fixes everything.’ No matter if the particular evangelical church claims the power of freewill, the collective religious history going all the way back to the Puritans, all the cross-contamination from prosperity preachers and the vast ‘Christian’ media empire, all but guarantees a very contradictory mix of ‘letting God sort it out’ and the use of political and social power to make ‘insiders’ and ‘outsiders’ behave in ways the ‘Spirit-Filled’ leaders teach ought to be so. All of this mess is wrapped up in ‘faith’ so that such assertions the leadership are commonly regarded to be ‘biblical.’ This works because the average Christian knows very little about the Bible which offers all this fuckery a sense of authority. Playing pretend is fun. Let’s tumble down this insidious little hole as I give myself over to vent my anger…

Hence, due to our propensity to pretend, we tolerate, nay, we joyfully give ourselves over, for example, to a liar as our salvation to take America for God. This liar, this horrific human being speaks lies and inspires us to hate the ‘others’ every day. He has sown so much hate and division as those who oppose these lies, those who call for equal representation for everyone, those who are trying to uphold the law (and just plain basic decency) are demonic, woke, leftist, godless liberals. The righteous delight and applaud the lies, the misogyny, the open xenophobia, inventing and erecting all kinds of religious and ‘practical’ justifications for all the destructive mischief because the ‘righteous’ want to maintain their status as the keepers of a righteous nation. (Thankfully, the ‘Red Wave’ didn’t happen. Maybe the godless will be able to push the fascists back? I’m very hopeful about the election results—but I’ll talk about that elsewhere.)

The irony of evangelical leadership lies within its entrepreneurial nature. In our prosperous environment, the laity rewards the leadership for affirming what they already believe, and that belief lies in the adoption of American values (‘winning,’ prosperity, happiness, superiority, etc.) into the faith. Within this transactional relationship the powers of the leadership are limited by the Biblical literacy of those they lead—thus they cherry pick (and just make stuff up) to uphold American values for their reward. The people get to feel like their afterlife is being covered while still getting to believe and feel the way they want to believe and feel. Leadership has a lot of power since, as the convenient little myth goes, the leaders supposedly speak for God; but the leaders must know enough about people to excite and inflame about the right issues and against the right people while at the same time reassuring their flocks of their own blessed assurance if they remain within the congregation’s behavioral expectations. Challenging a congregation’s comfort too far, too fast, and too explicitly will get them fired.

Leadership can bite back; I’ll describe ways in which they do. Hierarchical social organization (that is, the notion that some people are superior and thus ought to be running things) very much helped to create a ‘holy’ system which emphatically emphasizes forgiveness over repentance—the requirements for who does what is determined by the victim’s relative power and status within the system. As this often plays out for example, some holy man violates a lesser being in this system the victim is often criticized for not being more forgiving. This is a fine way to keep the power in the hands of whom God supposedly wills. We have been taught that the onus of fixing a wrong primarily lies with the victim. Such a system attracts predators providing a pool of victims to choose from as the flock itself will beat the victim down as they do not wish to lose the appearance of what they have. The ‘Sunk Cost Fallacy’ describes the human tendency to not abandon what we’ve invested in. Purity culture doubles down on this bullshit putting the fate of the nation upon the bodies of adolescent females. After all, in the Dobsonian universe boys will be boys—aggression, sexual aggression, is a necessary quality for leadership. The quest and responsibility for purity hence lies mostly with the girls. (This is the system of thought I grew up in and remains to his day.) This is why men (and boys) are frequently forgiven while the women (and girls) are frequently blamed. Do you know any preachers out there who speak against this? For the leadership, why repent if you can just be forgiven? (Repentance is difficult, takes time, work, and, contrary to popular belief, does not require forgiveness from the victim.) But we don’t often hold leadership to account because charisma is very valuable to the whole religious transaction. I could cite Andy Savage and Mark Driscoll, and many, many others, who egregiously violated a sacred trust only to pop up elsewhere to feed off more of the faithful. Still falling down the hole…

Why can’t I be more forgiving? Because I have a brain. Yes, I’ve done mean things that hurt people. I’ve held beliefs and done things which now I’m completely ashamed of. Yes, I hope to be ultimately forgiven. I’ve got a ton of ‘stuff’ to work through. And this is true for everyone, admit it or not. I choose to intensely self-examine because I want to do the work required to not hurt people in the future and be a benefit to those who cross my path. I want to speak the truth and uphold what is just. I want to speak up for the vulnerable. I want to stand against predators. The acknowledgement of all my failings, and my observations of all the failings of godly leadership, cements my belief that no one should conceit to speak for God. Anyone who does, if you have a brain, ought to be ignored. All the Seven Mountains tripe, along with its prophets and apostles who are just men and women who just want to be rich and important—and they have the charisma, a mysterious thing, to pull it off. And so, to maintain the collective illusion, abuse and exploitation will continue because such a structure is God’s Will as we keep pitching the BS that ‘everything happens for a reason.’ What primes the pump to sell this useful fabrication which helps make abuse a bit more tolerable for those being abused?

The following little (smirk) tweak to the understanding of the word ‘joy’ is just plain genius in how it flies under the radar to levy strategic strikes to keep the masses in line by reinforcing the myth that ‘everything happens for a reason.’  (Oh me of little faith…) I’ve no way to count the number of sermons I’ve heard which emphasize the importance of exhibiting ‘joy’ as an apparent means of drawing people to Christ. This implies that one must become like the evangelical Christian to experience the ‘joy’ the chosen evangelical enjoys because the Greek word χαρα, translated as either ‘joy’ or ‘gladness,’ is strongly associated with the concept of solidarity—which is situational. Just do a word search for all the times χαρα pops up and you’ll see that χαρα is experienced in association with others and/or with an event larger than themselves. In James 4:9 those who in solidarity with worldly behaviors are warned to exchange their χαρα for κατήϕεια (often translated as ‘sorrow’ or ‘gloom.’) This too is situational.

Indeed, I do think χαρα ought to be properly associated with the concept of solidarity, but not enough work, attention, and distinction is given by our teachers to whom and/or to what that personal experience of solidarity is given thus allowing the larger culture (that is, the environment in which congregants spend most of their time and attention) to form that understanding in the minds of the average parishioner. Due to the way we commonly use language, the word ‘joy’ is commonly equated with situational happiness (which may include an element of gratefulness) which comes through, thanks to our constant exposure to billions of dollars of advertising, having stuff. (Maybe this is one reason why Jesus said it is very, very difficult for a rich man to enter heaven? Another day…) There simply isn’t the literacy and teaching available to differentiate a significant difference between joy and happiness for those on a schedule. (Just the way it often is.) The experience of ‘gladness,’ as χαρα is often translated, is only a smidge away from the emotional experience of ‘happiness;’ the difference I believe lies in why and in what we are experiencing those warm feelings. This is where it gets ugly…

I know that preachers often try to draw a distinction between happiness and joy by calling the first experience situational and the latter not; this mis definition and appropriation is a mistake with serious consequences. People will act subconsciously to both cultural/religious bombardments that they may not be consciously aware of. The destructive effect of the teaching above is amplified by the fact that it is not true. Certain conclusions will be drawn and acted upon regardless of active consciousness in response to what is being taught (the advertising world is constantly trying to make this happen.) I think preachers do this to bestow an ethereal and/or quality upon the experience of joy—which implies that only the true Christian can experience such a thing. (This may be well intended.) Joy therefore is something exclusively given to those chosen by God to enjoy such an experience. There is a certain attractiveness, an allure, an exclusiveness, to draw people into the faith; and in this paradigm and practice the religious idea spreads to act as an immunization against all things and conditions which may make us unhappy—but the righteous do not frame this in those words. This common sermon about joy implies that joy is something faithful people ought to have. The trouble is, if we do not experience joy despite our circumstances as is commonly taught, then there just well may be a serious spiritual defect within us which could shed doubt upon our eternal condition. Such a dissonance and potential conflict with the most powerful being possible, along with His wrath which comes from the lack of faith, can lead to considerable anxiety. The ‘Blessed Assurance’ rests upon the teaching that the faithful live in joy and do not live according to a ‘spirit of fear;’ after all, Paul wrote about experiencing ‘joy’ while he was ‘in chains.’ It sucks to be a prisoner, right? Despite his situation, being ‘in chains,’ Paul, the faithful example, was still in a state of ‘joy’ or ‘gladness’ as χαρα is often translated. If the faithful do not control their emotions despite the circumstances, this in the individual soul conflicts and smashes the soul down to a very root level if the acolyte should fear, doubt, not be ‘joyful’ as commanded. One should believe that any awful thing which happens is ultimately meant by God to eventually bring joy. Psychotic.

Escaping this conundrum could very well lead to the faithful’s rejection of any serious thought or involvement in anything perceived to be ugly which may make them sad, or angry. The call to a state of joy requires deflection of present circumstances, injury, death, poverty, separation, betrayal, or just plain dishonest and deceptive evil, to project those negative feelings resulting from those stresses towards some future hope and/or upon some distant enemy. If one should succumb to those stressors guilt, shame, and doubt could descend upon the adherent to add to their grief and anxiety. This is a very significant factor which adds to the evangelical faith in and reliance upon collective political power to act upon those things, those people, they’ve been conditioned to fear. For all the talk about evangelicals not living according to a spirit of fear, they, through their actions, demonstrate that they are driven by it. (As I’ve addressed again and again in this blog.) By necessity, they must separate, they must make distinctions, between one set of people and another; they must distance themselves from horrors because they must feel ‘joy’ in order to be in good standing. (Yet, paradoxically, must also feel like they are being persecuted in order to be a good Christian.) The conflation of joy and happiness, the failure of distinction between the satisfaction of having a full belly, a warm house, and fine companionship from the, dare I say, pride of being part of something ‘bigger,’ good and noble despite suffering and pain which sucks, leads to the desire for either separation and escape, or worse, outright conquest. (Preachers need to do a much better job of making that distinction if they are to convince me otherwise.) This incongruity leads to the necessity of creating illusions to protect the human psyche from utter collapse. We try to have it all, but we can’t. (Again, oh me of little faith.)

The human abhorrence to embracing despair and suffering conflicts with the evangelical value of enduring suffering which is supposed to build character. Considering our constant conditioning as to what it means to be happy and the desire to feel that we are in control, despite what they may claim otherwise, creates the need for shrinking the circle of solidarity. Indeed, my circle has shrunk as well to exclude those who are in for theocracy. Boundaries need to be drawn despite, as some interpret the word of Jesus, the international mission of the gospel. There is no single cause for the rise of Christian nationalism, but it is generally a response to perceived threats (spurred on by the acknowledgement of demographic changes in relation to the obvious crimes of our past which gives rise to fears of retribution) to which forward thinking and entrepreneurial folks have capitalized on. The evangelical’s fear and desire for control allows those entrepreneurial folks to insert themselves as answers to the problem as the mouthpieces of God to assert the assurance that it is God’s will that the historically dominate group maintain power to keep things as they should be. The framework and rhetoric of nationalism is a fine way to facilitate a sense of purpose, a direction, providing an answer to an otherwise seemingly inscrutable and inevitable problem which faces the demographically declining group if democracy should survive. This necessarily requires the maintenance of some sort of hierarchy which traditionally, in our history, is patriarchy and white supremacy. Since the eternal order appears to be threatened (how that could be in the face of an infinite power is beyond me,) all means, be they cruel and dishonest, ought to be employed to the proper order of things for the salvation of some. This requires the adoption of a form of fascism. They honestly think this is the best expression of freedom because they think themselves to supremely superior because imagine themselves to be the chosen people of God.

The evangelical cannot mix with any different people who may challenge their perspective because they must maintain the faith that they are the chosen. In the face of increasing knowledge, science, and technology which may undermine the foundations of faith, one must either adapt or double down to exclude anything which may bring discomfort. The matters of salvation, eschatological notions of future dominance, supremacy, and, dare I say, purity, rely upon some varying understandings (depending on who you talk to) of a future theocracy. The lovely illusion must be maintained. The chosen people must exist according to supremacist evangelical theology—equality in their view is not an option because they have been chosen to bring God to the world. (If you are not quite following, the paths to future bliss in Christian thought are seemingly infinite. Some options include something called Dual Covenant Theology within that dispensation premillennialist framework—but even within this inclusive invention God will kill 4/5ths of the Jews in the Great Tribulation to pave the way for Christian rule. My apologies for not being able to completely sum it up because various loyalties are all wrapped up in personality and charisma.) Many of these eschatological fantasies are indescribably brutal. Such brutality requires separation between one set of people and another. Some are more equal than others as Orwell put it. In the end it’s all a mix of fear, resentment, revenge, and a quest for power.

In my personal experience, having seen trauma in graphic detail, having smelled the blood, the bone, the brains, having held the hand of someone violently attacked, gravely injured and facing death having been intimately betrayed as being shot by a loved one, to explain to that person so betrayed that we, your rescuers, are going to paralyze you (trust us) to breathe for you in order to save your life, having also looked into more than one person’s eyes whom I could not stem the approach of death as the light of life left those eyes, to have the blood flow across my hands as I try to stop the bleeding, to experience the smell of burnt human flesh, to see one suicide, one assault, one rape, one brutality, one result of rapidly moving meat against an inanimate object after another, to be threatened with violence, to literally breathe for those descended into respiratory passivity by opiates of which I have no idea how many, and in the end it doesn’t matter. I conclude that these ‘Christians’ against whom I speak are utterly detached from those they are trying to ‘save.’ They don’t understand what they are talking about. I do not say this to make myself out to be a hero; I was paid well to do these things, (and I do not miss them in my retirement because I cannot handle them anymore without personal implosion,) but to say that these experiences has influenced my perspective on life and the concept of salvation profoundly. The wounds run deep. I still partake in the elements of communion, but I am utterly broken, disconnected, and extremely angry. I am ashamed. Why?

Such descendance into the realms of human suffering, the screams, the smells, the fear, takes its toll. Jesus was beaten to a pulp, had spikes driven between His radius and ulna, and through His tarsals, so He could support His weight until He suffocated in agony from exhaustion. This is what people do to each other if one should piss off some more powerful than themselves. Jesus set aside His right to save Himself despite His power. We’ve tortured and killed people to save their souls. This is the dominant feature of human history. In this I argue that now the Christian ethic has been corrupted by prosperity and invented a system so the masses may advocate for someone brutal enough to enforce the sense of their own superiority—the Nazis proved they could bureaucratize the process so as to separate the brutality from the larger population so the average person personally wouldn’t have to experience the horror of dealing with the tears, screams, meat and the piles of corpses. The evangelical expects God to do it—I read it, the Left Behind series which sold 20.4 million copies—Jesus comes back at the end to have lasers come out of his face to literally melt, Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark style, his enemies. Piles of goo. Vapor. Smoke. Just wax and heat. Distance is convenient. The righteous do not have to see and smell the results of their vengeance. Oh what joy and hope…

And now we have new and improved means of separation between what is good and what is bad as expressed in the slogan, ‘I stand for the flag and kneel to the cross.’ As I’ve observed, most evangelicals would view this statement as either blatantly obvious or at least harmless. I beg to differ. This common slogan explicitly says that if one claims to be a Christian, he or she will be patriotic; those who are not sufficiently patriotic are faithless and disobedient. The association of the flag to the cross is clear. A good American will be Christian. Romans 13 is frequently cited to uphold Christian nationalism never mind the fact that this is cherry-picked as the Bible has other things to say about wicked governments and their evil and oppression elsewhere in scripture. The nationalistic Christian will squirm and most likely refuse to say they owe their unquestioning allegiance to the administrations of Joe Biden, Bill Clinton, or Barrack Obama for example. The hypocrisy is clear as Romans 13 will only apply to administrations they see as legitimate—this was made abundantly clear in the January 6th insurrection.

Thus, in context, a very clear majority of Christians view, despite one failed prophecy of specifically Trump’s victory after another, will still send money to those fuckers who claim to speak for God. (As it has been said, DeSantis is DeFuture? Need to look into what the frauds are saying about that guy.) This allegiance both baffles and horrifies me.

The disconnection from reason, the decline of moral sense, the urge to joy, collapses to the point that the command to ‘love our enemies’ shrinks down to the individual evangelical’s immediate environment. What is good for me? This makes it much easier as the list of perceived enemies of the evangelical continues to grow. Oh my, the white evangelical is so persecuted… (Okay, okay… the women, and little boys and girls are literally being diddled (by the evangelical leadership)—granted—you’re right; these ‘lesser’ people are being persecuted along with the LGBTQ people who are scapegoated for just about any problem that nation faces. Somebody has to take the blame.) It’s the best of both worlds: the faithful get to hate those ‘others’ they fear while at the same time think they are faithful for loving the guy who keeps using foul language at work. Just lead that guy to Christ through your love for him while not giving one rat’s ass, for example, about all those kids caged and orphaned due to a policy of punishment intended to make trying to come here so miserable for those seeking a better life so that they won’t come. Never mind the Bible in what it says about oppressing aliens seeking shelter. Out of sight, out of mind—shrink the world to make it comfortable. Reach out only in ways to maintain distance and your sense of safety and autonomy. We don’t want the others to come here. If you say that I am merely a godless asshole I will cite the fact, the fucking fact, that identification with evangelicalism is the greatest predictor of the harshness towards immigration. For 90% of evangelicals, the Bible has no bearing on their views of immigration. Preachers who don’t point this out are a serious part of the problem. If you are not a white, Christian evangelical, it sucks to be you.

What about mourning with those who mourn? Evangelicals tend to not give two squirts about immigrants, but do the righteous even care about citizens who are already here? Hmm… Are you righteous people so isolated to not see the destruction the Big Lie is bringing to the nation you claim to so dearly love? I don’t think so. I think that you honestly believe those who are not you are not a rightful part of the country. Hence, you believe you can do with them what you please, as God wills it. The leadership devours the money of the fearful to then amplify and return that fear and loathing of the others making the others the enemy of the true American—as the empowered evangelical defines it. The faithful evangelical may say that I am demonizing the righteous. In response, I would say that the evangelical bears the image of God just like any other human being on this planet, but that the average evangelical has been dreadfully misled to be unjust in their quest for power and comfort, appropriating the power of God Almighty to grab authority for themselves. This, in my mind, makes all the evangelical righteous people a serious threat to human rights everywhere judging by the levels of predation, toleration of coverups within your own communities, and inclination to fascism. It is not to say all evangelicals are evil, but that the average evangelical is completely comfortable with not examining the morality of, and responsibility to, anything outside of their immediate sphere. The leaders intentionally keep it this this way to facilitate their own comfort. Hence, evangelical arrogance, selfishness, and moral isolation is a threat to all human beings. The church is doing horrifying things in the name of God.

In the evangelical mind, having been a part of it for so long, the answer to all problems begins with conversion. If the evangelical can just get you saved, whatever that means, then healing and order will follow. Every other human need shrinks in comparison to the central evangelical problem of salvation. All charity is a means to that end. You may say, ‘What wrong with that?’ I’ll concede that it is sweet (well intentioned) for the evangelical to be concerned over the eternal souls of others, but when evangelicals prioritize in such a way motives are corrupted since such help can easily become conditional to that goal. Moreso, human misery can be seen as a means of inspiring conversion to escape the pain. Focusing on the ethereal condition of the soul allows us to forego the greater risks and costs of advocating and supporting those whom society fears and tangibly marginalizes. What does James say about wishing someone to be well without attending to their physical needs? Look it up.

What I’m saying here isn’t merely theoretical, it’s what evangelicals believe, support, and do. It lies in the attitudes towards ‘welfare queens’ and ‘thugs’ (thinly veiled racism) who threaten the true American’s capitalist way of life. It shows in the inverse relation of the harshness of abortion laws and the quality and quantity of maternal care offered to our most vulnerable. It is displayed in the fear of the criminal, rapist aliens (whose criminality rate is about half of that of those already here—it’s probably much more likely to get screwed in church by some godly asshole in charge) invading our land taking our jobs and burdening our welfare systems. Very little of what the godly says about the aliens is true but it is both what they want to believe and stems from the fears stirred up by the likes of Tucker Carlson about the ‘Great Replacement Theory,’ another blatantly racist untruth.

All these attitudes, beliefs, and actions described above are antithetical to what Jesus taught about advocating for the oppressed. Yet in the evangelical nationalist religion, the ‘liberals’ pointing out what Jesus taught about social justice, listing example after example of abuse, documenting lie after lie, revealing one exploitation after another, are the satanic people working against God. The evangelical has appropriated their own greedy, selfish desires as being what God Almighty desires; and by doing so sanctifies those desires. They’ve even appropriated the American flag for themselves as it now flies with both Confederate and various Christian flags and banners without shame. The evangelical leadership tells the people what they want to hear in exchange for money. Predators run amok because church culture protects them. By golly gee, all the predator needs to do is make the confession of faith and all is good—happy hunting—because Jesus fixes everything. Those with a conscience will forever be plagued with fear and shame as a means of social control from both leadership and their peers. All the while, through all the lies and predation, preachers get up and preach about ‘joy,’ and success saying very little, and even that little bit is coded to meet the specifications of the flock, about the injustice in the world—let alone the injustice evangelicals are responsible for. The illusion must be maintained that all the problems result from a curse from God because of the toleration of gay people and, you know, other various godless people. Heaven forbid that the evangelical be called to look in the mirror…

Those who do not point out injustice, who do not stand up for the oppressed, who do not call out the lies, who pretend that nothing is wrong (other than the routine problems white, middle-class people face—not to mean they don’t feel pain,) who do not call those under their charge to the fight for justice (Yes, that’s right—social justice; the Bible mentions that word, that concept, time, after time, after time,) are a serious part of the problem. The church largely believes the battle (you know, the Big Cosmic Revenge Fantasy) will be won with earthly power; few are challenging this belief. Those that do are ostracized as evil doers. All of this is so evil as millions are deceived into believing in a self-affirming system which protects predation, and that Christian nationalism is either the will of God or just some harmless aside to be left to do its’ thing. I, and countless others, have been gravely hurt by those who supposedly are filled with the Spirit of God to protect those under their charge. You neglect justice! You turn your face away from systemic oppression to maintain your own comfort. You tolerate lies because if you don’t you will be fired. You circle the wagons to protect those you regard as having higher status in the godly realms. (Hierarchy is delicious, isn’t it?) And by this program of obfuscation, your whole fucking system, routinely turns the blind eye towards the vulnerable so it may continue to feed itself.

Fuck you.     

Fuck Trumpism

There is much consternation about Biden’s ‘declaring war on half of America’ in his speech warning of the MAGA Republican threat to democracy. There has been much handwringing of using the term semi-fascist. I say, if it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it’s likely a duck. This is what makes this whole thing so scary. I don’t want to be complicit. I don’t want to be one of those who say, well they aren’t after me. Or more furtively, we’ll make a deal with the powers that are, that the message of Christ will go out to those who submit to the political program of making America Great Again. This is not okay.

The calls for apology are debased. Trump, the amoral namesake for of the continuing lawless fuckery, has called the ‘democratic’ side fascists repeatedly. Fact. It doesn’t matter if Biden calls for an honest election process, governed by law and integrity, the god-fearing Republican believes that in an election either they win or if they lose then cheating must have occurred. All trust is dead. All honesty is dead. All truth is dead.

How then does democracy exist? There is no will of the people. There is only war. And this is where we are. I have rejected the evangelical program to ‘save America.’ Trump himself campaigned on protecting classified material, signed orders to strengthen penalties in mishandling such material, yet in his own world acts as if he is beyond the law. When the leadership acts as though they are beyond the law, that is fascism. It’s close enough. When Trump becomes the law onto himself that is enough. When Lindsey Graham threatens, calls for violence, if the Republican party does not get what it wants, that’s close enough. Anybody with half a brain knows that many within the Republican Party hates that lazy, incompetent motherfucker Donald Trump but knows that the people, this body of q-infused stupid, racist, white supremacist folk who finance all this are not to be trifled with. Thus, Donald Trump remains king. Kiss his big white disgusting ass. It all doesn’t matter. Fascism is enough. God save America.

And so, we have the Christian infused system of ass-kissery for the greater good. There is no escape. We have the fetishism of flags, and freedom, and of good Christian acquiescence to evil in making America Great Again. All wrapped up in a system of supposed good conduct and loyalty to our anointed. Of course, we commonly see deep inevitable conflict soon. Belief in apocalypticism guarantees this. I don’t want this on my conscience.

As the host of ‘Unfucking the Republic’ claims, we are indeed fucked. Fascism is a movement, a way of thinking, a deep resentment of those who are ‘not us,’ which will lead to inevitable concentrations of power to correct what those in power have been led to believe ails society. I don’t think this can be corrected, and so I grieve.

There is no apology from me. All that is left is defiance. You are hypocrites. You are fascists. Come what may. Fuck you all.    

“Without Christ, our hearts are desperately wicked.”

I recently heard a well-meaning pastor proclaim this ‘truth’ in a sermon which brought up two initial questions: Is it true? Is it helpful? In my deconstruction process, there is an extreme temptation to just walk away and save myself from all the toxicity of the evangelical world. Trouble is, I believe there is still such a thing as truth and a God to whom I am accountable for trying to help other human beings. (The eternal question is how best to do that.) The bondage to which the evangelical is bound is insidious and mostly unseen. The culture, the language we use is so deep and ingrained that most evangelicals do not see the trap within an engineered view of reality designed to satisfy our desires for comfort and connection. All we must do is feed the machine in exchange for that comfort. For most, the outside world is too painful and scary to risk asking dangerous questions. Our ‘leadership,’ in large part, promotes resentment, stories of Christian persecution against furtive lies of inherent superiority, and fear of the ‘others’ keep us in our proper place in the hierarchy. I cite as evidence sociological studies (The Flag and the Cross, cited below, is recent source of data) which graph our various beliefs. Most evangelicals honestly believe they are being picked on in this country. What is closer to reality is that the evangelical leadership preys upon their flocks. As has been repeated in history time and again, if we believe there is someone under us socially, we’ll stay in line. If hierarchal order is maintained, we are happy. Statements like ‘Without Christ…’ comforts Christians and support their sense of superiority who are persecuted for being such. This is not helpful to the commission.

‘But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving ourselves.’ James 1:22

There are innumerable combinations of The Word. These variations promise ‘freedom’ in exchange for submission, and the precepts of the faction are fearfully defended as being utterly clear (despite our natural angst) to those loyal to that faction. Righteousness thus equals loyalty to your own faction and its precepts. The question which arises in my mind amid all the conflict and contradiction between all the things men say God wants, all claiming they are ‘biblical,’ is ‘is it really God’s will that we all be broke up into factions?’ Is this the way to save the ‘lost’ by demanding they become like us so that God’s wrath be stayed against them? The pastor’s statement creates factions—us and them.

There is no verse in the Bible which directly states, ‘without Christ, our hearts are desperately wicked.’ The pastor is extrapolating this from various passages concerning wicked hearts and deliverance from evil being made possible through Christ. Sounds fair enough, right? The faithful who’ve heard this kind of teaching time after time most of the time don’t think much into it. Except that in its utter simplicity, its ‘clearness’ as that asshat Tim would put it, such a statement, if one think deeper on the implications, provides the words to cast a comforting illusion—that those who ‘have Christ’ are intrinsically moral and thus ought to be calling the shots for everyone else since ‘the others’ are intrinsically wicked. This is what the voting patterns, the flow of money, and activism show. ‘Righteous’ laws, that is, laws based upon common perceptions of what is ‘biblical’ are arising all over the country. It is very clear that our Constitution has no basis in biblical law (see Seidel, Andrew L. The Founding Myth: Why Christian Nationalism is Un-American) yet Christians, who believe they are the ones being persecuted, are using their hard-won political power to enact and enforce religiously based laws upon everyone despite what their religious beliefs may be. (Freedom for me but not for thee.) This is tyranny which gravely hurts (and even kills) people. This encroachment upon freedom alienates and pisses people off. There is nothing patriotic about Christian Nationalism.

The illusions of moral superiority are comforting and useful but there are a whole host of consequences which arise out of casting these spells. I’m going to write here about some of these consequences which are embedded in our history. The Bible does talk about creating illusions to comfort ourselves (Isaiah 30: 9-11; 2 Timothy 4:3.) As I’m going to argue, casting illusions often leads to obvious evil. Let’s go back in time to list just a few examples out of thousands (which the Christian cabal is doing their best to scrub out of the public mind though force of law and intimidation. Nothing new.)

Good ‘ole John Calvin (I’ve read his Institutes,) once he established his little holy dictatorship in Geneva burned Michael Servetus to death for heresy. (Yeah, there was a ‘governing council’ but it is clear who was calling the shots.) Beware of letting even ‘the righteous’ centralize power—they’ll kill you in the name of God. Later, in the good ‘ole Puritan days, some years before the Mathers were dispensing blatantly racist ‘wisdom’ and ‘visions’ were admissible as evidence in court at the witch trials, Captain John Underhill organized a genocide against the Pequot people in 1637. The violence was vicious and indiscriminate. The totality of the destruction was justified by Underhill who said, “sometimes the Scripture declareth women and children must perish with their parents […] We had sufficient light from the Word of God for our proceedings.”

Wise, Steven M. (2009). An American Trilogy: Death, Slavery, and Dominion on the Banks of the Cape Fear River. UK: Hachette. p. 33. ISBN9780786745395.

After all, Joshua had been oft given the mandate to kill everything in the way of the ‘chosen’ people. The Puritans thought of themselves as chosen. This manner of thought, that Christ was with the righteous ‘chosen,’ as passed down from generation to generation, fed a generalized belief in white supremacy as Christianity was the dominate religion of the whites. (Some theological wrangling had to be figured when both natives and black slaves started to convert.) The affirmation that all hearts are wicked without Christ can be seen as a blank check to justify many things including white rule over ‘the wicked.’ And it often was. This common mindset, along with a host of crimes committed against human beings, led to the white Christian nationalism we have today. As Philip S. Gorski and Samuel L Perry puts it,

White Christian nationalism designates who is ‘worthy’ of the freedom it cherishes, namely, ‘people like us.’ But for the ‘others’ outside that group, white Christian nationalism grants whites in authority the ‘freedom’ to control such populations, to maintain a certain kind of social order that privileges ‘good people like us’ through violence if necessary.”

Gorski, Philip S. and Perry, Samuel L. (2022). The Flag and the Cross: White Christian Nationalism and the Threat to American Democracy. P. 96

But not all ‘Christians,’ either then or today agree with the imperative that the (self-assigned) righteous ought to rule over those the righteous have labeled as ‘wicked.’ People can make ‘biblical’ arguments that God endorses slavery, or abolition, or equality, or patriarchy; that God loves all (Romans 2:11, Acts 10:34, Galatians 3:28, Ephesians 6:9) impartially, or in Jonathan Edward’s view that an angry God is holding the sinner (who, according to the TULIP doctrine, has no real choice in the matter) as a ‘loathsome spider over the flames.’ It seems that even back in the Puritan days, there were Christians who did differ (as I do) with the blanket statement that ‘without Christ, the heart is desperately wicked’ and were forced out of the righteous community for holding disparate beliefs concerning freedom of conscience (and by extension, the full humanity of all.) I’ll list an example…

Roger Williams (1603-1683) was once part of the Puritan community who was exiled (thankfully Calvin wasn’t in charge) for sedition and heresy to later found the First Baptist Church in Rhode Island. Gorski and Perry summarize the essential differences thusly,   

William’s views differed from Mather’s in at least three key respects: First, he drew a sharp line between Christianity and morality: the one did not imply the other. In his observation, the morality of the natives was often superior to that of the Puritans. Second, he drew a sharp line between religious and civil authority, much sharper even than the Puritans, not because he worried about the church corrupting the state but rather the reverse. Third, because he believed that freedom of conscience was absolute, and that it implied freedom of expression. He rejected the collective authority of the Puritan clergy and, even more, their efforts to silence dissent. In sum, Williams believed that people of the most varied backgrounds could still form a civil society together, so long as they separated religion and morality and church and state and did not force anyone’s conscience or silence anyone’s speech. This he called ‘meer civility.’ Sadly, the path of ‘meer civility’ was the road less traveled in William’s day. Killing and converting would become the dominant poles of ‘Indian policy’ in the centuries that followed.”

Gorski, Philip S. and Perry, Samuel L. (2022). The Flag and the Cross: White Christian Nationalism and the Threat to American Democracy. P. 52

Although there were exceptions, our collective ethic justified actions which led to the mass acceptance of theft, lies, murder, enslavement, terror campaigns (lynching,) racist laws, incarceration, economic policies, and cultural exclusion in order to keep those not deemed as ‘one of us’ in their place. This continues to this day. We seem to be completely comfortable with forcing people’s consciences through the force of law—for the greater good. We are completely comfortable silencing people’s speech as we continue to enact laws to silence those we regard as being unrighteous. ‘Don’t say gay.’ Our anger and fear of the ‘others’ is constantly being reinforced. Just turn on FoxNews and the chances are good that the captions flashing across the bottom of the screen will say ‘Crisis at the Border!’ (I don’t intentionally watch FoxNews but it’s constantly blaring at the gym.) Tucker Carlson regularly vomits lies about ‘Great Replacement’ theory. (That bunch is just chasing money—fostering fear and anger brings in tons of it.) The whole system is infused with Q fueled lies and insanity, all worshiping at the altar of Trump.

With the victory of Trump, Republicans, to whom conservative Christians remain fiercely loyal as the force which will return America to God, do not even have to be that furtive in their racism and xenophobia anymore. (Articles in this blog have listed numerous examples.) Any government money that doesn’t flow to them (or their heroes) is ‘socialism.’ The latest involves student loan forgiveness. Numerous Republican talking heads are screaming about this when many of them have enjoyed PPP loan forgiveness in amounts far larger than what Biden is offering. The dirty truth is that Biden’s loan forgiveness does not forgive the ‘right’ people. This is right up there with too many of the ‘wrong’ (since outright, direct exclusion was no longer openly acceptable) people were getting a subsidized college education, so the Christian Right through Ronald Reagan started making college a whole lot more expensive (30% increase in one year!) Of course, the result of increasing prices, poorer people were going to have to take out loans to go to college. But through the righteous messaging machine, the debt is their fault since all fault is individual rather than systemic. This provides an easy moral out for those who pull the strings of power in favor of their own. Anne Nelson’s Shadow Network: Media, Money, and the Secret Hub of the Radical Right plainly lays out the flow of money through various players to create the righteous new order of doing business.   

The Christian Right didn’t get organized as a force until the Federal government started coming after the tax-exempt status of segregation academies which arose after Brown vs. the Board of Education. (Jerry Falwell had one, Liberty University.) Protestants didn’t give a rip about abortion back then—that was a Catholic issue. What is really at issue is the division of power and money. The Republicans, as they are all now cozied up with the Christian Right (the process of infiltration described in Anne Nelson’s book Shadow Network,) are very good at messaging having massive networks, including FoxNews and Salem Communications, to spread their bullshit under the patriotic guise of fighting ‘socialism’ (and promoting ‘family values.’) ‘Socialism’ is fine with the righteous if the money flows to the ‘right’ people. The ‘biblical’ concept of Jubilee only applies to certain people in our ‘capitalist’ (snicker) society. Corporate welfare is A-OK. The Koch’s can freely fuck us all. Societal success is determined by the number of billionaires we can make even richer. There seems to be a collective need for an underclass even when the middle-class, the one’s being taught to wish for all this fuckery, are getting fucked as well. (Here is an analysis of the forgiveness program.)

Beyond all the money flowing from here to there and back (up to the controllers) again, the fact remains that due to declining numbers of white people, those who’ve historically been dominant, the electoral advantages must be further amplified. They’ve learned from January 6th; those mistakes will likely not be repeated. Now that SCOTUS is 6-3, the Right’s program to overcome the numerical disadvantage marches on. Moore vs. Harper is set to be heard this fall. The Trump machine is trying to place ‘Big Lie’ endorsing candidates in numerous Secretary of State positions around the country. It is truly scary to see their success. As I’ve repeatedly made the point, Christians do not care about piety as they’ve made clear in endorsing, and voting for, the worst human being who has ever been in that office. As I’ve said before, Trump will burn the world to the ground to be king of it. I continue to stand on that statement. What the average Trump voter wants is the (perception of) power to maintain their (perception of) dominance, as promised to them by a liar. What is closer to the truth is that we are all being played into endorsing an encroaching fascist oligarchy. Revolving around this whole shit show is a myriad of sycophants who will say and do anything to grasp at any scraps of power which may remain. What is certain is that Trump is too much of a lazy moron to make this fascistic dream happen; the question remains in how to transfer the movement, the namesake, the power, and the revenue generation capability to someone more competent (like Ron DeSantis) without pissing off all the rabid, clown-show Q idiots financing the whole mess. There is precious few in the clergy who are speaking out about the blatant immorality of all this. They dare not if they want to keep their jobs. Those who have spoken out are often exiled. Familiar story? (Look over there! There be some homosexuals and transgender folk—all our problems are their fault, let’s get ‘em!)

Beyond the political use of the statement ‘without Christ, the heart is desperately wicked,’ there is a serious affect upon the church’s witness to the ‘lost.’ The belief in divinely bestowed special preference can set up a certain arrogance within the heart of the believer; and this is not lost to the observing non-believer. I’ve seen this quite clearly as expressed in the doctrine of entire sanctification, which I always thought was bullshit, and with the Pentecostals in their doctrine of the Second Baptism of the Holy Spirit which I thought was bullshit as well. I’ve seen tears shed over this. Seriously. There has so much pain and uncertainty over whether one is truly saved, loved enough, to the degree required to make the cut for the rapture and so be spared the terrors of the anti-Christ and the bowls of God’s Wrath. I was raised in the context of this terror. I can’t tell you how many times I thought, ‘fuck, I missed it,’ when someone I expected wasn’t where I thought they would be. It’s terror, pure and simple (and is an especially shitty fear to place upon kids in order to ‘save’ their souls.)

I fail to see how a God, who on one hand is described as the very definition of Love, can hold the sinner over the flames as one would hold a loathsome spider. In Philippians 2, Paul talks of Jesus forfeiting His divine right to condescend to us—to save us. Jesus claimed to His disciples that if they’ve seen Him they’ve seen the Father. Could not then the Father forfeit His divine right to use his almighty power to send all the sinners to endure eternal conscious torment in the flames because they offended an eternal Being? As many, many Christians believe, if you’ve never heard of the salvific power in Jesus then it really sucks to be you—you are eternally burned by accident of birth. Is this love?

It’s possible that I may be facing such a fate; I hope not. But I think this is highly unlikely since I don’t believe God is an asshole. The very notion of eternal conscious torment offends the idea of true love. Many may bristle at the thought of the likes of Hitler getting away with it. We want justice; but the kind of justice we want is relative, isn’t it? (Mercy for me but not for thee?) What is justice? Philosophers have been wrestling with this for thousands of years. I think what is closer to the truth is that we all are going to ‘get away with it’ in one way or another. Rob Bell has his ideas; I have mine. I doubt people like Hitler or Trump would want to share space with God; so, I think they will be consigned to oblivion. In my view, their sins were nailed to that cross as well. The matter comes down to where we want to reside—God forfeits His divine rights to punish our sin in His love. It’s the only chance we have—His undying, unmerited love. This is what I want to believe. There is our justice, like it or not—accept the gift that benefits you as well. How this propitiation works is beyond me or anyone else to understand. I’m willing (and wanting) to accept this despite all the rotten things done to me in exchange for the forgiveness of all the rotten things I’ve done to others. This requires letting go of justice in the future world. A hard thing to do as it makes a lot of moral grey to contend with as we negotiate and weigh various moral claims to defend ourselves and others against all the liars and predators in the world.

As it seems obvious, we could not be as we are now in the heavenly realms, so too it seems we could not be as we are now in what we call Hell. As Lewis argued, the threat of hell should not be our motivator—else hell be given power that does not belong to it. The threat of hell is fear based. St. John argued that love drives out fear. Yet, fear is what drives our evangelism, our politics, and our need to create divisions between us. Just because one claims to be Christian does not mean that one is a good person (Luke 13: 22-30.) Jesus, Paul, John, Peter, James, Calvin, Luther, and many, many others have said a great number of things about the nature of salvific faith to which numerous ideas, practices, and affirmations have arisen in response. James talked about the necessity of doing (good.) Jesus seemed to focus on the state of the heart (desire.) Paul, seemingly contra James 2, implied in his letter to the Galatians (2:26) that salvation is not by works but through faith in Jesus Christ. What gives?

I’ve made it clear that I don’t embrace the doctrine of inerrancy. (I still believe in the testimony of suffering so my belief in the resurrection remains.) ‘Christian’ values have evolved tremendously over the millennia as Christians have morphed their understanding of scripture for sake of palatability. I’m doing the same. One of the rising humanist values which challenges the fundamentalist patriarchal lens for interpreting the Bible is equality. This is very threatening to the established order—today’s Christian has been conditioned to believe that order is a primary value which must be maintained. The reason I bristle so intently at the teaching that ‘without Christ, the heart is desperately wicked’ is that it gives license to the average Christian to not examine the motives and fruit of their leadership—they are free to just assume that the leadership is being led by the spirit of Christ sparing them to look at all the abundant depravity in the Christian endorsed political activities and process. The faithful can just tune in to the content that Salem Communications provides, attend a service which provide positive affirmations and then comfortably rest assured that God is in charge. Personal responsibility to dig is absolved. Just keep voting Republican and God will handle the rest to affirm ‘family values.’ Easy Peasy.

Jesus talked about good trees producing good fruit. Bad fruit tells a different story. In all the things I talked about above, the evil which comes from believing ‘some are more equal than others,’ and that the ‘righteous’ ought to rule the ‘wicked’ no matter what dishonesty and cheating the system is engaged in, and that we must support the system to ‘make America great again,’ all these listed above are rotten fruit born from a rotten tree. Those you call wicked see this; they see the fear, the dishonesty, the ever angry, hateful authoritarian God, and clearly receive the blatant message that Christians think of themselves as being better than everyone else. In agreeing with ‘them’ I’ve become wicked, and a threat, as well. Christians have pushed out the human context for exampling the love of God. By what the church does, in its devotion to the tenets of Christian nationalism as based in white supremacy, Christians tell the world that they are keepers and dispensers of God’s love. The righteous shall dispense ‘love’ as the righteous see fit. The so-called ‘wicked,’ being also made in the image of God, do not see such an authoritarian program as righteous at all since they’ve not been blinded by the affirmation of the blank check. (That is, the assurance that one is righteous because one claims the Spirit of Christ.) In this Christians have lost their claim (to righteousness.) The whole matter has devolved into competition between one authority and another; one that claims divine sanction via ‘scripture’ and ‘revelation’ and the other which asserts the equal value of every human being. General revelation vs Special revelation. Love is lost in the fog of deception and perception.

It’s right there, in our politics and in our words as the Christian political juggernaut is running the country, and the world, right into the ground. Using the rhetorical device of apophasis, the Right is calling for (further) violence in the streets (if they don’t get what they want) while providing plausible deniability that it didn’t approve of said violence should it happen. The double standard is alive and well. The Black Lives Matter violence after the blatant murder of George Floyd (and many, many other murders and abuses perpetrated against our underclass, openly spurred on by our dear leader) was an affront to everything holy and decent while the violence of the ‘patriots’ who stormed the Capitol on January 6th in an attempt to overthrow the election for their messiah, causing much death, injury, and PTSD to the Law Enforcement officers who stood their ground as POTUS urged the mob on, was acceptable, even valiant, patriotism. Our country is in serious trouble as around half of us, Democrat, Independent, and Republican, believe civil war is in our near future.

This is terrifying. What the Christians are saying to their ‘lost’ neighbors is ‘submit to us or be crushed.’ Where is the love in that? Yet, ‘God is doing mighty things in our church.’ Screw the rest; it is either willful ignorance or a deliberate choice to maintain an illusion. It may be selfishness; it may be cowardice. ‘Without Christ, the heart is desperately wicked’ maintains the illusion of Christian supremacy. I choose to believe we all have good and bad in us to varying degrees. (Though I must admit that I still fail to see anything good in Donald Trump.) I am much more inclined to trust someone who puts the illusion of righteousness aside to embrace me (the rebel) and everyone else as initially having the benefit of the doubt as being equally worthy of love and respect until their actions should show them to be malicious. And even then, there may be hope until they’ve made it clear that either want to rule it all, burn it all down, lie, rape, murder, cheat, steal or all the above. In that case, I believe it is our duty to defend others against these malicious beings. It seems a line must be drawn somewhere.

We are all God’s children. Equally loved. You pull the ‘holy,’ elitist, separatist thing with me, and I’ll likely regard you as being either a con and a predator or a fool. (I admit that I was fooled for decades.) Such creatures make poor witnesses to what is merciful, good, and true. Being LGBTQ+ does not make anyone evil or a threat. Having an abortion doesn’t make someone a murderer responsible for hurricanes and earthquakes. Losing your virginity (a nebulous concept anyway) does not make you any less valuable as a person. But these are some of the black and white teachings of the evangelical world which cause so much suffering and leads to great predation and evil. I cannot in good conscience agree with you even if you say I risk the fires of hell. (Oblivion is more likely.) The authoritarian, patriarchal teachings of those ‘in Christ’ set the stage for horrifying abuses at the hands of those higher up the evangelical food chain. It is clear, many, many people who claim the authority of Christ, as they have the ‘Spirit of Christ,’ are obviously wicked people because they prey upon those they’ve intentionally taught to be weak and undiscerning. These authorities use their ‘God-given’ authority to prey upon others. Therefore, I react strongly against those who teach these destructive things. (I used to barf out this stuff as well. It is not easy to admit I was wrong.) The way forward is scary and is anything but clear.

But the fact remains that in the process of jettisoning all the toxicity of evangelical teaching I’ve never been happier. The moral world is grey with many different factors which figure into a seemingly endless fractious moral equation. The common denominator is the value of each human being regardless of where they come from, who their parents were, who they are attracted to, or what they believe about God or anything else. There is something key about content of character…

All the examples I listed above show that evangelical Christian has no right to claim they are morally superior to anybody. As for me, I think the evangelical church is highly immoral. Yes, there are good people within that body. But they don’t dominate the agenda. They obey.

Don’t Listen to Negative Advice

Notes on Tim’s August 7th Sermon

Sermon Text: Numbers 13 & 14

Summary of Sermon Text: Moses and Israelite on border of the Promised Land. 12 spies are sent into Canaan to bring back a report. They all come back to say it’s good land. Ten say Israel was going to get their asses kicked by the people living there. Two say that they can take them—for the Lord is with us. People go with the majority report, wailed and whined, and threatened to stone the two who said they could all do it. The ‘glory of the Lord’ (some apparent manifestation of power) appeared to save Joshua and Caleb from being stoned to death. Moses pleads for the people’s lives. God relents to sentence them all to 40 years of wandering in the desert until all the people (other than Joshua and Caleb) are dead. Moses dies. Caleb takes his allotment of land. Joshua leads a genocidal invasion of Canaan. Enough said.

This sermon is a typical evangelical cheerleading event to encourage believers to have faith and stay the course for God is with you. The assumptions which are expected to be made here are staggering but evangelical culture, its ceremonies, media empire, music, and political apparatuses provide a rather comfortable context to deliver a simple, unchallenging sermon like this. As Tim has made clear in previous sermons, our (Biblicist) understanding of the Bible is clear, correct, and understandable. Slap self in forehead. It’s so simple! You can do it!

The reason it is so simple is because unity has been found in the evangelical camp for three basic reasons; (1) because of the popularity of both pre and post millennialism eschatology most evangelicals have embraced the use of political power to steer things so Christ will come back. Heaven on earth is bliss for the faithful. (2) Everybody loves success understanding that success is measured by the expansion of audience, power, and influence. (3) Everybody loves money. Having money gets stuff done. And it brings confidence and comfort.

Evangelicals don’t quibble too much about theology with each other even though some of these differences are very significant. The fact that they chose, and still choose Trump shows the world that we will choose power over piety any day. (Don’t get too bent out of shape, the big players (see The Shadow Network by Anne Nelson) have been working on us all for decades through things like the Council for National Policy and the Salem Media conglomerate—for a couple examples.) Trump delivered power to us quid pro quo for our undying support. The complete shitshow, all the lies were worth it because we want bliss, power, money, confidence, and comfort. Therefore, all the debate concerning the angst between the social teachings of Jesus in the Gospels as opposed to the more structured, everything has its place, Pauline theology doesn’t really matter because we are commonly politically committed to the project of saving America for God. Nobody cares about theology. Close enough we say. The common ideology directed by the Council for National Policy and spread through organizations like Salem Media (which saturates the eyeballs and the earholes of millions and millions of faithful Christians everyday) provides the understanding to the means of fulfilling the Great Commission. Therefore, Tim can get away with saying the Bible is clear, correct, and understandable to everyone (who is not wicked.) No one within the club is going to seriously challenge that. Anybody who would is not part of the club because certain things are non-negotiable—like the principle of hierarchy itself for example.

 (30: 50) Tim says that our message to the world (primarily) lies in what we do. I agree. Now, in all I’ve been saying above (and throughout this blog,) what are telling the world about who we are? The rabbit-hole goes deep, and it isn’t pretty. It’s embarrassing, and it’s horrifying. Our history rips my heart apart. But Tim is not here to call us to reflect, he is not here to bring up anything which could be embarrassing or controversial, he is not here to offer any advice on determining whether a certain course of action may or may not be ‘biblical.’ But he is the authority in the room. Now on to the assumptions…

(39:30) In the context of Caleb’s story in which his confidence in faith was affirmed by the ‘Glory of God’ (he also talked about Timothy who was affirmed by the authority of Paul) that one should not listen to ‘negative advice’ when you feel you should do something (for the Kingdom of God—I would assume.) He didn’t elaborate much on what might comprise ‘negative advice’ but he specifically used the word ‘feel’ as a guide to what we ought to be doing. This is a very common charismatic teaching about knowing the will of God. After all, fundamentalists must be selective about which parts of the Bible are to be taken literally and which parts are not. Biblical interpretation has always had a ‘feel’ to it. Why not leave it to a feeling—especially if that feeling has come out of a lot of prayer, or a powerful sermon you listened to either recently or a long time ago which has always nagged at you? Tim simply says, ‘God is with you.’ A big assumption here is that that ‘feeling’ comes from some directive touch of God. Joseph Smith, for example, was very specific about feelings being a very important religious test (see Doctrine and Covenants 9:8.) Let’s tear this apart.

Equivocation is something that happen quite often in the mystery of faith. How do we know God is with us? Both the North and the South claimed that God was with them. Should we suppose the ultimate test of whose side God was on went with the victor? The South continued to believe they were right; and many, many people to this day believe this. Timothy was affirmed by the authority of Paul which follows right along with our common practice of ordination and denominational oversight. But then we come to the case of Caleb who was about to be stoned by the ticked off masses unhappy with what he had to say; Caleb was protected and affirmed by the ‘Glory of God.’ This was an apparent manifestation of power which stopped a violent mob in its tracks. Seems a clear indication that God was clearly with Caleb. How is it that a preacher can get away with telling a remarkable story about Caleb’s affirmation to assure the faithful out in his audience that in whatever and however they’re planning to forward the Kingdom of God that God assuredly is with them as well? Well, it’s simply what we what to hear. Nobody in the club is going to seriously question that equivocation. Therefore, don’t be distracted by people questioning because they are clearly being influenced by the foolishness of worldly knowledge. How do we know? Because the ordained authority is telling you the Bible says so (1 Corinthians 1: 20-25.) Enough said.

Granted, Tim’s sermon was not pushing hard to instill assurance that God is with us. It didn’t have to. The many facets of our culture drill this into our heads continually. Our culture has us neck deep in political action led by a bunch of very dishonest people to save America for God. Evangelicals have been actively taught to suppress reason and embrace an authoritarian solution to all problems—real or imagined. Therefore, we are all deeply divided because not all of us are authoritarian. The values of the liberal and the conservatives could act to balance each other if we would reason with one another. But that has been destroyed by a massive political/religious machine which tells the conservative that the liberal wants to destroy the country. Liberals are evil, demonically controlled people…

Well, as a liberal, I level the charge right back at you. From my perspective, the conservative relies on ‘faith’ (a culturally influenced melding of various parts to a common goal) and authority to determine and understand truth. The liberal relies more upon a collective of accumulated knowledge subject to cross examination and democratic peer-review and the methods of science which emphasize evidence collection, hypothesizing, experiment, and repeatability of the results. We are very much interested in the truth as we too believe that truth will set us free. We believe that lies enslave people—fairness and equity is very important to us. The conservative believes in order—this is where we could balance each other out.

But the idea of balance and compromise is dead. It is dead because the evangelical organizations which have mastered the art of political maneuvering, wresting political control from the demonic masses, have taught the average evangelical that he or she is persecuted by the world (especially liberals.) This is by any scientific measure not true; but we understand the false belief is useful politically. Christian prophets have made all kinds of claims which are demonstrably not true. The sky did not fall when gays acquired the right to marry for instance. Life went on as fear began to diminish for an historically marginalized group. Life went on for all of us.

But the engineers of the Christian Right had to instill a mobilizing fear in evangelicals because the reality on the ground demographically is that the white evangelicals are now outnumbered. The preemptive strike organized by religious/political leader is to stoke the fear in conservatives that the others are going to attack, or that God was going send some plagues because of sins of the others, (Evangelical rhetoric is saturated with this,) so the God-fearing must strike hard to keep order (thus a Godly society) by any means necessary. This includes accepting a man who has no scruples as the evangelical’s champion and to accept on authority a whole host obvious lies including the BIG LIE about the election. From this liberal’s perspective, evangelicals foremostly reject the truth. They have betrayed the teaching of Paul to meet their own desire for power, comfort, security, and cultural dominance.

For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 2 Timothy 4: 3-4

This is the price of unquestioningly accepting the modern definition of faith. Some (Bethel in Redding) go so far as to put gold-colored flecks in the air conditioner, calling it the ‘Glory Cloud,’ to reinforce the parishioner’s notion that God is with them and their ‘signs and wonders’ understanding of how to win the world for God. The statement ‘God is with you (us)’ in our common usage is more than simply a statement concerning His omnipresence and (depending on who you talk to) his universal love and concern for all human beings. Saying ‘God is with you (us)’ in the context of project X, Y, or Z implies His approval in what you are doing to represent Him.

All the engineered miracles and dog and pony shows to whip up emotion are the tip of the iceberg of all the power-hungry, self-affirming dishonesty which has been sanctified to a good purpose. All these ‘displays of divine power’ pale in comparison to what we have accepted politically as a service to ‘God’s plan.’ I for one would never consider it acceptable to tell a bunch of people, as a blanket statement based on my authority, that ‘God is with you’ in whatever you all feel God is telling you to do. Doubly appalling is the thought of me telling people outright to ignore different perspectives on what ‘God’ is saying. What Tim is really saying is that your positive feelings of what you consider being charity and service are indeed equivalent to what God’s will is for you and your life. They may be but it is a grave disservice to imply certainty lies within a feeling. That feeling may very well be what the political/religious machine has taught us to believe is service and charity. If that ‘service and charity’ involves embracing political power and lies then I believe, as a liberal, that it is you all who are seriously misrepresenting God and that the shepherd who trains the people under his charge to not think and to automatically dismiss hostile perspectives is really in the business of making slaves.

Enough said.

America First’s Heidi St. John 3rd District Washington State

It’s election time. My email is still flooded daily with GOP Trumpian stuff—so no change there. I let it come in because some of it is just plain funny in how pathetic it is; and it is a way of keeping direct tabs on the bullshit they’re selling. Home phone still rings about 10 times a day with various scammers which we allow to just go to the machine. Far easier to manage blocking the deluge of daily harassment with the cell phone, which we now use for serious communication without being driven crazy by all the POS’s of the world. But now we are getting cardboard flyers in the mailbox. O’ Joy.

These are two of the flyers showing up in the mailbox for the candidates we are supposed to decide who to vote for. Both Heidi and Joe claim to be ‘America First.’ This tells everyone that I’m in a rural district. I’ve said a few things in this blog about AFPAC, how it centers around white supremacy, with figures like Paul Gosar, MTG, and Nick Fuentes swimming about in its cesspool of Christian Nationalism—this is where we are at as a people. We white people are terrified. I cast my ballot.

We’re so twisted up in that fear that our political candidates, quite a collection of grovelers and panderers, pose proudly with a portrait of the most immoral man who has ever been President. Without any fear of ridicule, one of our ‘America First’ candidates would chastise the other for his past support of Bernie Sanders by listing some things Bernie has said about the most immoral man who has ever been President. I don’t understand and would want some clarification on ‘religious bigot,’ but all the other things Bernie said about Trump are true. But this where we are. Goodness and truth are inverted to assuage our fear.

Heidi is running her campaign directly on fear. These people take our existing fear and fuel it further for their own gain. It is utterly despicable. Very, very small people advantage themselves to use other people’s fears. But this is the white supremacist patriarchy, a collection of very insecure men creating their own ‘safe space’ by using guilt, shame, and lies to crush all who may challenge their moral supremacy. Paternalism requires eternal children.

The ‘Safe Space’ for white people in the US historically has been in numbers, but that has changed demographically. This is why the Christian Right has worked so diligently for decades to secure a path to political domination over those who, for a time, will remain as ‘the others.’ Patriarchy is explicitly about creating ‘Safe Spaces’ for the eternal children ever under the authority of the fathers. Heidi is just a useful tool in this system of thought parroting bullshit about Critical Race Theory, walls, and patriotism.

A small degree of knowledge of the Constitution and the Bible should put aside the notion that our nation was founded upon Christian principles. This common myth is so obviously false and is so destructive to both freedom and the Christian faith. Yet we bought it. It is a direct assault upon the truth; after decades of pummeling our wannabe politicians now openly kiss the ass of the most debased of liars for the ‘people’s’ endorsement—all under the banner of freedom. That liar feeds your fear and paranoia—we’re addicts, addicted to fear. This fear has dulled us. What should be obvious is not as our collective powers of reason have been beaten to a pulp. The only way out is sacrificing our desire to protect ourselves against those we’ve been taught to fear. Letting go of that fear is the beginning of the path to our way out of the trap.

Red, White, and Blue are the camouflage color to obscure a giant shit sandwich of lies and fear of the marginalized. Let go of that, and all the unprovable yet unfalsifiable Q bullshit, to start looking at the obvious paths of money and power. Grow a backbone. Listen to and consider the evidence. Do not look away from ugly things; do not cover them up. Question patriarchy. Consider equality. Have the hard conversations. Read the critical books. Do you really believe the ‘truth will set you free’? Then do not the men who have set themselves up to be lords over us all to dictate to us what the truth is.

(For fuck sakes, they gave us the most obvious liar to be the icon for forward our ‘truth’ making a total mockery of us all. This, along with all the revealed criminal and immoral activity should make it obvious to we’ve been duped. I’ll say again, truth is dead.)

Consider science. Scholarship. Due process. Chain of evidence. Peer review. Integrity without reference to some unassailable divine authority but accountability to equal, fellow human beings. Consider the possibility that your religion does not increase your standing with the Almighty one bit as such a notion has led to a plethora of evil and atrocity being committed against other image bearers in the name of God. Consider the possibility that any kind of authoritarianism is not the answer to any human problem.

But that is (largely) not what we do. The more desperate we can be made to feel, the more willing we are to surrender to someone who promises to fix everything. The collective genius of the authors of our Constitution has been exchanged for the well-financed lies of corporatists and religious hacks who brought the gaslighting wonders of a Christian Nation. We are building our Gilead—step by step, no shit. When men will not even listen to your concerns by shutting you out of the process by law, as we are presently doing, be you woman, atheist, or queer, the noose will continue to tighten until we all will have the appearance of righteousness. Think they won’t kill people to enforce the law? The Bible backs the idea. We surrender, they start killing for righteousness’ sake. Don’t believe them when they promise they won’t; history says otherwise.  

The righteous lie when they say, ‘don’t worry’ about your rights. They depend upon short memories concerning their already broken promises. They have appointed themselves as God’s enforcers. The appearance of righteousness will be enforced through fear and violence—which will be in their minds justified because ‘some animals are more equal than others.’ Some have God’s grace, most do not. ‘We just need you to meet (our) Jesus, and all will be well.’ The evidence that the righteous gaslight is that they, in their patriarchal supremacy which fosters fear which necessitates and justifies any amount of gaslighting and/or brutality to maintain a safe space for the eternal children, refuse to hear any appeal to the recognition of any historically marginalized group. Heidi, our wannabe hero, is explicit about this. This is gaslighting. This is no different than any parent who beat their kids physically, mentally, and emotionally, when later confronted by the adult child say in response, ‘I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.’ I’ve been there. I walked away from that relationship because gaslighting, so frightfully common in the human experience, extracts all dignity from those expected, by duty, to acquiesce to the demand of submission to the controller’s reality. This is evil. I fail to see how a good, almighty God would want us to submit to such evil for the purposes of promoting a greater good.

The Christian Right is gaslighting as a group. Any wrongdoing is to be framed and categorized by the organized and effective—all for the good of the eternal children. Slavery, Jim Crow, lynching, firehoses, dogs, mass incarceration, murder, theft, redlining, voter suppression, gerrymandering, even Rosita denying little black girls a hug at Sesame Place—for fuck’s sakes—are the tip of the iceberg of the oppression and indignity non-white (and queer) people have suffered at the hands of the chosen people. The white folk say to those who (finally) want full recognition, ‘I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.’ Vote for Heidi and we’ll keep this up.

All the CRT stuff for grade school kids is bullshit anyway, but that doesn’t matter—it is just an effective trope to fire up white fear. Fuck confession. Fuck repentance. Fuck forgiveness. Fuck reconciliation. The Christian Right is clearly saying ‘eventually we will crush you’ to all who will not (willingly) bend the knee to them. This is about power and fear; love doesn’t have one fucking thing to do with it. Happiness, and especially the love of country, for the Christian Nationalist resides in patriarchal gaslighting and the lies perpetuated by those who claim to speak for God. Adding to this tragedy of a profoundly divided nation are millions of higher status Christian white folk who don’t have any idea of why this nation is so deeply divided having been fed so much ‘everything is fine with us, now get to work’ bullshit for so long. I feel for you too. However, once you go active you are an enemy of the Constitution and the freedom it guarantees. I swore an oath to defend that secular law which I believe in. Therefore…

Heidi, you are the enemy of the thoroughly secular Constitution (which truly guarantees freedom of religion) and the (non-Christian Nationalist) People along with that treasonous, lying motherfucker you pose yourself with. (What does it say about someone’s love for country when they grovel for the endorsement of a traitor? We call the people who rebelled against the British government Patriots.) I promise you, all your kind, and all the faithful followers cheering the coming fascism that I will never bend the knee to any of you. I will oppose you all, always.

I swear.